Transgender Community Outreach Event
Friday, May 18, 2001
Sisters and brothers, friends, honored guests--good evening! I'm
delighted and honored to be here with you tonight. I consider this
gathering to be a highly significant event, and it's great to have the
opportunity to share some thoughts with you. I do wish that there were
more people here, but I'm very pleased that YOU have come. It often seems
that those who most need to attend events such as this one rarely do.
Transgendered folks need to hear words of encouragement and affirmation,
and those who oppose us need to see our faces. They need to be confronted
with the truth and the dignity of our transgendered lives. In any case,
welcome-I am happy that you have chosen to be here tonight.
You've been sitting for awhile. And so, if you're able, let's stand up,
stretch, shake out your arms and hands, and take a few deep, cleansing
breaths. Say hi to the person next to you-we're all family here tonight.
Thank you, and please be seated. Now, I invite you to sit up straight,
feet flat on the floor, rest your hands in your lap, breathe deeply, and
let's begin. First, let me say that I don't plan to offer any new or
deeply profound insights into the nature of the transgender phenomenon
tonight. But we do have some important issues to address. The fact that
we are here together right now means that the spiritual concerns and
issues of trans people are beginning to be taken seriously, at least in
some quarters, and I find that encouraging. I hope you do, too. One
blessed day, hopefully in the not-too-distant future, our religious
institutions, along with the rest of society, will begin to realize and
accept the fact that being differently gendered is not a "choice," a
"preference," or a "lifestyle": it is an orientation, a way of being in
the world, and a remarkable gift from our loving Creator.
I invite you to join me in considering what it means to heal the wounds
that have been inflicted upon the transgendered spirit, and what our
religious institutions, particularly the Christian church, might do in
helping to bring about that healing. This is important stuff. It touches
the lives of many people, and I take these concerns very seriously.
Even as we talk about the Christian church, I'm aware that not everyone
here tonight may be Christian. I want to be as inclusive as possible in
my remarks, because I believe that the important issue of trans
spirituality reaches far beyond our churches, our synagogues, our
mosques, or our temples--it goes right to the heart of who we are as
human beings. And the heart knows or cares little for specific religious
belief systems--our hearts are how we get in touch with our Creator, with
our spirits, and with each other.
Okay, so we're transgendered. What does that mean in the grand scheme of
things? Well, it means that we're society's mirrors: we hold gender up
for examination and for reflection. That's a significant, even pivotal,
social task, and we are uniquely suited for it. We help define what
gender is for our culture, and what it is not. And, whatever our
religious beliefs may be, I am convinced that transpeople are also called
and gifted by God. We are on this earth to be the embodiments of a
prophetic message to the world, and part of that message is this: there
are many healthy ways to live as human beings in relationship with our
Creator and with each other. Bigotry, disrespect, narrow-mindedness, and
lovelessness are not among them.
Now, let's not kid ourselves. For the most part, it's still considered
socially acceptable to bash us. We're fair game for the right-wingers,
the fear-mongers, and the self-appointed guardians of morality. We're
different, and everyone knows that anything different is always to be met
with fear and loathing, right?
That's why transpeople can't look to the more conservative elements of
our religious organizations for spiritual healing. Nor can we look there
for the justice that we need and deserve, at least not at this moment in
history. So, we must turn our focus elsewhere: first, to our God, the
source of all healing power. Secondly, deep within ourselves to the
considerable strength and courage that we may not even know we possess.
And third, we need to look to each other and to our allies for support in
this very real struggle.
I want to take a moment to recognize our non-transgendered family
members, friends, and allies. Thank God, their numbers are growing. Good
people of conscience are beginning to realize the injustices that exist,
especially within the Christian church and our other religious
institutions, and they're coming to join with us in solidarity. I'd like
to ask everyone here who is NOT transgendered to stand, if you're able.
You represent a strong, highly significant hope for us, and we are
grateful. We appreciate your presence here tonight--you are critical to
our lives and to our hope for making progress. We respect and honor you
for your importance to us.
The radical religious right, bless their pointed little heads, remains
trapped in the perceived religious security of a bygone era. The Rev. Dr.
Peter Gomes of Harvard University calls this mindset, "Nostalgia with an
attitude." These folks apparently have little interest in sharing or
living out God's unconditional love for all people. Neither are they
interested in being dragged, kicking and screaming, into the light of
21st century scientific and theological understanding. These people need
our prayers and, as difficult as it may sometimes be, you and I must do
all we can to LOVE them into the realm of justice. Now, that's a tall
order, I freely admit-but it's what God would have us do.
Perhaps we can all take some solace in the New Testament story, found in
Luke, chapter 18, verses 1-8, of the woman who goes before the unjust
judge. In this narrative, Jesus tells the woman not to lose heart, to
keep praying, and to continue going back before the judge until she
finally receives the justice she seeks. That's what she did, and
eventually she got what she wanted and deserved. And that's what you and
I must be about: continued prayer for guidance, direction, and strength;
remaining optimistic and never giving up; and working unceasingly for
justice on behalf of all people.
You see, God's people are not necessarily called to be "right" or
"correct." We are called to be faithful-faithful to God's ultimate,
transcendent law of love so that we may seek justice for the wounded and
the oppressed among us. Our real task, as the useful cliché reminds us,
is to comfort the afflicted while afflicting the comfortable.
Now, let's talk about healing for the transgender spirit. What should
that healing look like? What forms should it take, and what actions are
necessary? Here's what I believe: we are desperately in need of a healing
of attitudes, a healing from hurts, a healing of minds and spirits and
emotions that have been battered and scarred, and a healing of broken
relationships. We're also in need of healing that can take place on both
sides of this equation. Let me explain what I mean by that.
First, differently gendered people are in need of healing from the pain
and negativity that has been forced upon us by the social institution of
religion, and perhaps especially by the religion of Christianity, for so
many centuries.
And, just as importantly, the Christian church, along with the rest of
society, needs to be healed of its sick, unfounded prejudice and
misguided bigotry toward the transgendered. Reconciliation can only take
place where there is repentance, honesty, mutuality, respect and
integrity, and my prayer is that people will be brought together through
God's spirit of love so that the church can be more healthy, whole, and
inclusive. You see, this now becomes a test of our character, and we who
call ourselves people of faith must be prepared to meet that test
head-on.
Of course, a necessary piece of this healing process for transpeople
involves putting ourselves on the line, even though that probably sounds
unfair after all we've been through at the hands of religion. By this I
mean we need to come out to as many people as we can, because when we who
literally `live the life' are willing to speak out, we become effective
advocates for ourselves and for other differently gendered persons. And,
perhaps most importantly, we put a human face on the issue, making it
harder for others to ignore us. That's how we can begin to build bridges
of respect and understanding with the church-but we must always build
those bridges with a strong sense of dignity and legitimate pride in who
we are. We are NOT unworthy people, and we must demonstrate that in all
we do.
I'd like to quote some words from David Whyte, who is a remarkable poet
and speaker. I believe them to be highly appropriate for us here tonight:
Now let's shift our attention to the other side of this equation: what is
the role of the church in all this? First of all, the church has a
direct, God-given responsibility to love and to reach out to all people.
It's time for people of faith to begin taking that responsibility
seriously. The people of God cannot afford to be selective or exclusive
about whom we will and will not accept. Let me give you an example of why
that is so.
We'll call her Linda, which is not her real name. I want to share a
letter that she sent to me. Back in 1993 I wrote a short little book
called The Cross and the Crossdresser, and this letter was written in
direct response to that book. Linda's letter has helped me to better
understand how God sometimes works through us in the lives of people we
may never even meet. Linda's words come from the darkest place in the
human soul, and I still get chills every time I read them:
I'm writing to thank you for your book, The Cross and the Crossdresser. I
also want to tell you about what's happened to me because of reading it.
My name is Linda, and I'm a crossdresser. I live in New Jersey, and have
been a Christian all my life. I've never been able to understand why I
need to crossdress. I've asked God about it, but have received no
answers. All I know is that it's hard to be a Christian who struggles
with these things. The desire has never gone away even though I've tried
to hold it back.
I've been hurting deeply because my pastor has told me that crossdressing
is a terrible sin. I went to him for help in trying to sort out what all
this meant spiritually. He quoted from the Bible and told me that wearing
women's clothing makes me an abomination, someone who is unacceptable to
God. I'm supposed to stop dressing, repent of my sin, ask God's
forgiveness, ask for forgiveness from my church, and never crossdress
again.
Vanessa, I've tried to stop crossdressing many times. I'm able to quit
for a short period, but the overwhelming need to be Linda always comes
back. I'm convinced that I'll never be able to give it up completely and
that, sin or not, it's a part of who I am. So, I've struggled very hard
with this issue for a long time. I've been torn apart with guilt and with
shame, and the stress has even made me physically ill.
Last night I decided that I couldn't deal with all this deep pain
anymore. I had ordered your book and I wanted to read it, but I was in so
much emotional pain that I wasn't even sure I could concentrate. I felt
that I just had to be Linda for awhile, even if it DID make me a an
abomination and a sinner, so I got dressed up and sat down on the couch
in my living room.
As I sat there I was holding your book in one hand----and a gun in the
other. I'd made up my mind that I was going to blow my brains out because
I just couldn't stand the pain and the guilt any longer. And if I was
going to die, I was at least going to do it in the clothes that I loved.
I opened your book and began to read that God loves me just the way I am.
You wrote that God doesn't care about what we wear on the outside of our
bodies: God has more important concerns. God cares about our hearts and
our spirits. You said it was not a problem for God if I wanted to
crossdress because God knows what my soul needs. And you wrote that
nothing could ever separate me from God's love-not my pastor, not any
teaching or doctrine, not my church, or anything else.
As I continued to read, I started to cry heavily. I had to stop reading
for awhile and wipe the tears from my face. Finally, I decided to put
down the gun so I could wipe my eyes and turn the pages more easily. When
I finished your book I sat there for a long time looking at the gun. I
cried some more, and then prayed to God to help me make a decision.
Amazingly, God did so. I've never known such a feeling of peace, inner
calm, and certainty of God's love for me as I did in that moment. I put
down your book, took the gun and emptied the bullets, and then put the
gun away. I have decided to leave my old church and to look for another
church home. I need to find someplace where I can worship God and be
accepted for the person that I am, not for who someone else thinks I
should be. Thank you, Vanessa, for writing your book and for making a
difference for me. I'm going to live.
Your sister in Christ,
Nothing I can say here tonight could be as articulate or powerful as
Linda's words. She went right up to the edge of the abyss and looked over
it, but God's loving presence gave her the strength to step back and
decide to live. And the world is a richer place today because people like
Linda--and like each one of you--are in it.
I don't know everyone who's here tonight. You may or may not be
Christian, and that's your business. It's certainly none of mine. And
frankly, your belief system shouldn't matter in terms of how the
Christian church ought to be treating and respecting you as a person.
What DOES matter is that the church has an obligation to love you as a
human being, to take your concerns seriously because God loves you, and
to view you as infinitely worthy because you're created in the very image
of God.
I believe there are four specific things the church must do if it is to
be effective in dealing with the spiritual concerns of transpersons:
1. Christianity must become open to education about the transgender
community. Otherwise, we're all just spinning our wheels and preaching to
the choir. This means that differently gendered people and the church
have to dialogue and interact. We've GOT to talk to each other openly,
even if it's painful or messy-and it will be--so we can make progress
toward greater acceptance.
2. The church must make a conscious decision to love and accept
transgendered people completely, without reservation or limitation. Why?
Because God does. If you want to follow God, then you have to emulate
God. If the church is to do that, it has no viable option other than to
extend love and acceptance to transgendered persons-because that's what
God does.
3. The church must respect and encourage transpeople to live out their
lives with spiritual integrity. And that DOES NOT mean trying to "heal us
of our affliction" or forcing us into "repentance" for our
transgenderism. Nor does it mean trying to "change us" through prayer or
"reparative therapy," or coercing us into giving up who and what we are
so that others might be more comfortable around us. Neither does it mean
taking scripture out of its historical and social contexts, and then
using it as a weapon to bash us. It DOES mean treating us as equals, as
peers, and as full, legitimate members of God's inclusive family.
4. Finally, the church must become involved in social activism on behalf
of trans persons. Why? Because it's the right thing to do, because it's a
simple matter of justice, and because there is so much to be gained for
everyone in terms of insight into the human condition and into the very
character of our God. Now, I'm well aware that the right thing to do
isn't always the easy thing. And I also know that creating justice is
often an unpopular thing to do. In fact, there is usually a price to be
paid for taking a stand and committing acts of justice. But the price for
not doing justice is even higher: the price is our very soul. And that's
too high. So, we must do what God is calling us to do: we are called to
be lights of understanding, of respect, and of human diversity for the
sake of all who need God's liberation.
Hear me now and listen well: I'm tired of our people being treated as
second-class citizens within the Body of Christ and within society. I'm
tired of seeing our people being ignored by the church and our other
religious bodies, implying that we're nothing and that we don't matter.
That's why you and I must begin refusing to lick up the crumbs that fall
to the floor from God's table of communion: we are entitled to sit in
full equality at that table and to partake in the communal feast like
everyone else. DON'T EVER SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS!
I don't know about you, but I tend to get excited and energized when I
think of the possibilities that lie before us. You and I are living in
amazing times and, almost by default, we get to be in the forefront of a
grassroots movement for gender and spiritual liberation, a movement that
will literally change the church and the world for the better. We can
make a profound difference. You and I are made in God's image. We are
God's beloved trans people, and we have a right to be proud of who and
what we are.
Some people think that the phrase "transgender pride" is an oxymoron.
Now, I'm neither an ox nor a moron, but I'm here to tell you that we can
take tremendous pride (not vanity or self-importance, hopefully, but a
quiet, fulfilling sense of dignity and personal fulfillment) in being
differently gendered. We are special and valuable to God and to the human
race, whether we believe that or not. Tonight, I urge you to think about
what "transgender pride" might mean for you. Every person in this room is
a unique and infinitely precious creation, and I can tell you this much
without reservation: you make me incredibly proud to call myself
transgendered. Please pray constantly for God's guidance and wisdom, and
resolve not to let a day go by without making God's holy justice become a
manifested reality in your life.
My prayer for us all is that God will gift us with strength for this
struggle, because we know that life can be hard; with wisdom and
discernment, because we so desperately need those qualities in these
difficult and confusing times; with compassion, because others need it;
with unity of purpose, so that together we may lovingly contribute our
abilities to the righteous causes of peace and justice, thereby honoring
and bringing glory to our God; and, finally, I pray that God will gift us
with joy, because we were created to appreciate the abundant blessings of
life in all their delightful diversity.
If we will but place our trust in the Creator of all things, the One in
whose image we were so lovingly fashioned, then we may boldly envision
and begin to build a new church, a new society, and a new world. We will
become the co-creators of this bright, imaginative new social vision with
our God, the One in whom "we live and move and have our being" (Acts
17:28). And when we do, that transformed society, that bright new world,
and our very lives will be filled with holy, sacred, right relationships.
This, then, is our blessed hope. It is our potential future as the people
of God in this world, a human destiny where we will surely see and
experience, as Shakespeare reminded us, more things than are dreamt of in
our philosophy. Thank you, and may God bless you all.
"I do believe in dignity and the preservation of personal honor. I
believe in dignity, not in dignity's old shadow of puffery and
self-importance, but in its power to keep us true to our own spirit. With
dignity comes honesty and an unwillingness to sell yourself short, to
temporize or collude in a cowardly way that may preserve our jobs but not
our honor. There are certain things we should not do, lines we should not
cross, conversations to which we should not descend, money we should not
earn however easily it may come, things we should not allow ourselves to
be called in public."
Dear Vanessa,
Linda
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