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Most of us have fallen in love. Some only once, others, well it's
almost every other week. But for all of us the symptoms are the same,
our thoughts and conversations are fixed on just one person and we want
to spend our time with them, preferably alone together. We are sure
that together we can conquer every obstacle, that there is a special
magic in our moments together. Have we ever compared the blood rush we
feel as we see the one we love with the blood rush, that overwhelming
sense of being loved, we experienced in our earliest connectedness with
God? Didn't we once KNOW how much God loves us, and didn't we respond
with love in return? Didn't we want to spend time quietly with God?
The world in which we live certainly has ways of grabbing our
attention. People around us involve us in their crises. We encounter a
myriad of problems at work, and often even getting there can be a
headache. Then there's that niggly thing called money. Who ever has
enough to buy those things that we really would love to own? There are
friendships that can sour, families that seem to be in a self-destruct
mode, and problems maintaining the few possessions we do own, car,
computer, home, whatever. Finally there are our relationships. Without
deliberately setting aside time simply to be together, to hear clearly
what each other is saying, without the desire to know each other better
and delight in discovering new ways to please each other, there will be
no relationship. For relationships are like cars, they don't run
smoothly without attention. In fact, when we allow other things or
people to absorb so much of our time that we have none left for each
other, when there is no real communication, relationships simply wither
and die.
This is what happens when God moves from the position of "first love" in
our life. Somehow things and people crowd out God. Sometimes we are
too ill (or even hung-over) to be able to communicate with God, and days
slip by unnoticed while we put God "on hold." And so, until a crisis
sweeps across our personal lives, we let go of God's hand and do things
our own way. With the advent of a crisis, back to the Cross we come,
our tears genuine enough at the time, but for how long? How long do we
think we can get along without God? We all know many who can manage
without God all their lives, but for those of us who have felt the touch
of Love's hand on our shoulder, who have known and experienced the
security and comfort God brings into our lives, an ache will always
remain in our spirits, an ache to be reunited with our Creator.
And here we come to the kernel of our existence, for our creation is
incomplete without our connectedness with God. Just as a car will run
on a variety of fluids, as we discovered during World War II not the
least of these being raw alcohol, so our lives will run with other
things and people occupying centre stage. But they will not run
smoothly as if God had been our central focus. In fact we will never
develop the full potential with which we were created. The prophet
Isaiah had a word or two to say on this subject. In Isaiah 44:24
we read, "This is what the Lord says, he who made you, who formed you
in the womb, and he who will help you." We find this theme again in
Isaiah 49:1b, "Before I was born the Lord called me; from my birth he
has made a mention of my name." God has given us talents we have not
yet discovered, for we have moved out of God's presence so often that
our lines of communication are disjointed.
Just what happened in our lives that caused us to lose the sense of
God's overwhelming presence? Had we become so complacent about God that
we stopped being attentive, or did we allow little things to invade our
thoughts in those time we had set aside for spending in prayer? Imagine
a conversation with a lending agency we had approached for a loan to buy
a house if we allowed other thoughts and people to occupy our thoughts
instead of focusing on the financial details we were there to discuss.
Our memory of such a meeting would consist of disjointed fragments, and
we would be ill prepared to engage in any endeavour based on
half-remembered fragments of such an important discussion. We are all
faced with the bother of filling out documents, yet the information we
supply on documents -- such as passport applications -- needs to be
accurate or we will find ourselves in trouble with the authorities. Try
filling out such an application if you had headphones clamped to your
head blasting out music, while at the same time the person alongside you
suddenly collapsed on the ground, bleeding. Where would your attention
be directed? Life's like that, too much noise and distraction, too many
things happening all around us, we lose track of that which should be
the most important relationship throughout our lives.
How do we get back to that place of loving again, that place where God
is our "first love?" A relationship with God can be very much like an
intimate relationship with our life-partner. When our human
relationships start showing signs of wear at the edges, when we realise
the only time we spend together is at meals or asleep, the signs are
there that such a relationship has not been given the care it deserves.
As this truth dawns on one or both of us, there comes the scary task of
looking at what we have left, remembering how things were at first, and
deciding quite deliberately if we wish to continue together. Sometimes
there are no longer any shared interests, nothing we have in common but
the same address. But other times love is still there, covered by the
cares and concerns of days we have not spent reaching out to each
other. We look deeply into the eyes of our lover, and know this is
where we belong. We make time to be together; as we pass we reach out
and touch each other, a faint brush of fingers against fingers, a smile
that speaks out our love. We talk of simple events in our days, and of
those things that we hold close to our hearts. We fling open all the
doors of communication, and put trust and commitment on the frontline of
our relationship.
How do we get back together with God? No differently, I believe, from
the way we resume the intimacy of a relationship with the one we love.
We need to spend time together, to talk about the simple, everyday
things as well as those things closest to our hearts. We need to
re-establish trust and commitment. We need deliberately to seek out
God, and make a committed time each day to spend with God. Our
relationship with God started before we were born, and it will continue
long after we have walked through death's doorway. The apostle Paul
speaks of this relationship, this love, in words recorded in 1
Corinthians 13: 7, "It can outlast anything. It is, in fact, the one
thing that still stands when all else has fallen." So often we fail to
see the true value in what is available to us, and we reach forth to
pluck other things from different sources, yet it is God, Love
personified, who awaits our return to the relationship we shared.
Prayer is simply spending time with God. It may not involve words, for
words are simply expressed thoughts, and God knows our thoughts. In the
words of J. Montgomery, (first printed in the Scottish Psalter of 1635):
Prayer is the burden of a sigh,
Prayer can take place in stillness or during the fiercest storm, while
flying over continents or walking along a beach. One thing is always
present in prayer, and that is sharing our lives with God.
There are a myriad of things we never get around to doing. If we were to
examine our excuses we would discover at the heart of our reluctance is
the fact we really do not want to do those things. Anything we really
want to do, any word we really want to say, we find some way of
accomplishing. If we are reluctant, at any level of our being, to place
God at the centre of our lives, then we will not make the time nor will
we spend the effort to ensure we reconnect with God. It's not much use
blaming God for our feelings of isolation or helplessness when it is we
who have left God's side for other pursuits. It is futile to expect to
find our refuge in God when we are no longer on speaking terms with our
Creator. Placing God at the centre of our lives is our choice, and it
is our decision on a moment-by-moment basis to put God first, before any
other person and any other commitment. It is only in God's company that
we will discover, as did Jesus, who we really are, and what are our
tasks in this existence. We came into this world alone, no matter how
many people we encounter during our time here; we will leave this world
alone. It is only our relationship with God that is ongoing in this
dimension and the next. To recapture that sense of love, and of being
loved, is to prepare ourselves for an eternity in the presence of a Love
greater than we can ever imagine. Truly what is there that can prevent
us from reaching forth to invite God into the centre of our lives? We
are not pawns in a game of fate. We are responsible for our choices
including God's place in our life.
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Prayer : Finding the Heart's True Home Richard J. Foster Here and Now : Living in the Spirit Henri J. M. Nouwen
Or search Amazon.com for books related to GLBT people and Christianity.
Other Articles By Rev. Vera I. Bourne:
Also In This Issue:
How Do We Keep Jesus in the Center of Our Lives?
Speak Softly and Forget the Stick:
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