4:1-ff: How beautiful you are, my beloved. How beautiful you are!
There is perhaps no more thrilling a sound that the voice of a loved one
telling us how much we are loved by them. Perhaps this is most important to
gay and lesbian people. In a world where angry words are hurled at us with
self-righteous abandon, chipping away at our sense of self, to hear our
lover's words of desire for us, to feel their touch, their longing for our
beauty, is a much needed balm.
Beauty, however, is a tricky word. When we describe someone as
"beautiful". what exactly do we mean? Physical beauty only? Certainly the
sight of a beautiful body is a joy, a God-given blessing. Yet how often do
the images in skin magazines or videos color our perception of what real
beauty should be. If my pecs do not bulge or my abs are not as rippling as
they once were (if they ever were!), if my sexual endowment and prowess seems
dwarfed by the glossy, paper models, and my "folically challenged" state
increases daily, does all this mean I am not beautiful?
Certainly we are all attracted to our "types". and physical attractiveness
and attraction is no vice. But if it remains on that level, then the vital,
complex, loveable human being created from the mind and hand of a
variety-loving God, is reduced to a collection of body parts, parts that
will, one day, no matter how many trips to the gym or bottles of Rogain or
Viagra, break down and eventually turn to dust.
I have been privileged to meet many beautiful people for whom lack of
apparent physical attractiveness was overshadowed by a deep beauty of soul.
I regularly brought Holy Communion to a little Scottish woman named Bea.
Severe arthritis had left her hands gnarled and her body wheelchair-bound.
Yet when I entered her tiny apartment, she would be working at a crossword
puzzle or watching a PBS cooking show or knitting winter caps for the
charitable outreach program of a local church. It did not matter what
denomination you belonged to. If you were in need, Bea was there doing
whatever she could. And I looked forward to meeting with her each week
because, though her body had been ravaged, her mind was sharp, her wit quick,
and her ever-present smile infectious. She truly was one of the most
beautiful people I have ever been blessed to know.
We must expand our understanding of "beauty". We must clarify our
vision of our own beauty, realizing that it does not reside only in the body,
but in the heart and spirit that, once ravished by the Beloved, must go ut
and share that love through word and action.
4:9 "you ravish my heart...you have ravished my heart with your eyes."
What a terrific word to describe how a lover's love affects us...RAVISH,
defined by Webster as "to overcome with emotion". It is part of the
non-verbal communication between lovers that is so delicious. With just a
lok you know how your lover feels: amorous, sad, joyous, contemplative,
troubled. To look deeply into another's eyes and want to not just swim in
them byt to be totally engulfed by them. And when that longing is fulfilled,
friend, you have indeed been ravished!
Jesus says to us, "You have ravished my heart, my brother, my sister,
with your eyes. You have captured my heart with words only eyes can
truthfully speak." When do we do such a wonderful thing as to ravish the
heart of the Son of God? I believe it is when we finally trust him and in
his care for us.
"Thy will be done" is a thought all too often voiced as a form of "I
give up." But if I believe, truly believe, that Jesus loves me, that I have
been chosen to be his Lover, then trust must flow from that, or else any
relationship will be superficial. How can you spend your days with someone
who does not trust you when you declare your love? How can you relate to
someone who doubts what you say or questions your motives? You cannot.
In Mark's gospel (9:17-24), a father approaches Jesus and begs him to
heal his demon-possessed son. In his grief, he says, "If you can do
anything, take pity on us and help us." Jesus' reply is quite direct. "If
you can? Everything is possible for one who believes." Then, in one last
gasp of hope, the father responds, "I do believe, help my unbelief."
Trust and belief are never easy to hold on to. It is hard at times to
trust someone in whose name so many have mocked and harassed and even killed
us. It is hard to believe that any god can come from a loved one's death, or
a break-up of a relationship, the loss of a job, of family support, of
friendship. With all the homophobic rhetoric, it is hard to believe that
Jesus could really love me. But once you have allowed yourself to look
deeply into his eyes as I have done (though not often enough) and been
ravished by him, belief in his love and trust in his care for you will begin
to grow. For in our trust, in our belief, no matter how fragile or small, we
ravish the heart of Jesus Christ. And who could be indifferent to that?
4:12-15 "[my love] is a garden enclosed...a sealed fountain. Your shoots Form an orchard of pomagranate trees, bearing most exquisite fruit: nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon with all the incense-bearing trees; myrrh and Aloes, with the subtlest odors. Fountain of the garden, well of living Water, streams flowing down from Lebanon!"
Here the Lover speaks of his Beloved in imagery far removed from the
most of us. Fountains and lush gardens filled with fruits and aromatic herbs
are not part of our everyday lives. Yet all those beautiful images are ways
of saying that the life and love of his Beloved is all his.
Each one of us is like a garden that must be well tended. We are filled
with life and potential and are jealously possessed by a loving God. Ironic
that, for years, gay people have been put down with the epithet "fruit". But
what fruit do we as gay and lesbian people bear? We have choices for the
yield of our inner garden. We can allow the weeds of hatred and anger to
choke back fruitfulness. We can nurture the thorns that spring from the
roots of homophobic talk which plunge deeply into our already wounded heart,
making the soil of the soul bitter and foul. We can block up the fountain of
life-giving water with stones and gravel of selfishness and superficiality
and resentment. Thus we can stand amid the rubble that we, not those who
misunderstand us, have created. Or we can nurture the fruit of forgiveness
toward those who hate us. We can choose to prune our lives with
self-discipline so as to truly love, not only our lovers, but family and
friends and those God will enrich our lives with. We can choose to let the
fountain of life-giving water, that has its source in the wounded heart of
Jesus, to burst forth and show the world that gay and lesbian lovers of Jesus
Christ know how to live and love and nurture both love and life.
We belong to Jesus, that is the bottom line. Before we can walk with
him in the world, we must be comfortable lying with him in the garden of our
heart. Is your garden a place of peaceful respite with your Beloved? Or is a
little gardening in order?
5:1-3 "I sleep , but my heart is awake. I hear my love knocking, 'open to me... my beloved, my dove, my perfect one, for my head is wet with dew, my hair with drops of night'. I have taken off my tunic, am I to put it on again? My love thrusts his hand through the hole in the door; I trembled at the core of my being."
Her lover now stands outside her door and pleads, with bedewed hair, for
admittance. For some reason she decides to play games with him. She coyly
announces that she has removed her tunic (hence she is ready for love). Her
feet have been washed ("feet" being a Hebrew euphemism for genitals"). So
here she lies, prepared and longing for love-making. The sight of his hand
causes her to tremble with desire. But she does not let him in.
In the Book of Revelation, Jesus says, "Look, I am standing at the door,
knocking. If one of you hears me calling and opens the door, I will come in
and share a meal at that person's side." Our Lover stands at the door of our
heart, like a gentleman, unwilling to force himself and his love upon his
Beloved. He stands there, his hair wet with the moisture of longing and
desire. Yet so often we keep him waiting, playing games with our frustrated
Lover. But unlike the Lover in the Song, it is not a matter of being ready
for his love-making. We keep him waiting because we are afraid or too hurt
or too consumed with self to open the door.
Whenever I read the Revelation passage, I am reminded of my 16-year-old
self, too battered and blind to even find the door so as to allow Jesus
entrance. I did not allow myself to be ravished because I believed the lie
that I was not worthy. But my Lover was oh so patient. Though I eventually
opened the door for all the wrong reasons, he came in, dressed his table,
kissed me "with the kisses of his mouth", and has remained by my side ever
since.
Jesus remains at the door, pleading with us to open. His love is
nothing to play games with. In a world where true love is in short supply,
none of us can afford to let him, who is love itself, stay outside, bathed in
the dew of our indifference.
5:9 What makes your lover better than other lovers...
The old adage says, "Love is blind." If you look around at couples you
can see the truth of this observation. I have watched people in malls and
restaurants and have asked myself what is some of these folks see in each
other. Physically there does not seem to be much that would attract someone
to another. Then I have to catch myself, remembering one man in my life who
found the likes of me quite to his liking and remained with me on and off for
5 years. There is some "thing" within us that, once captured by another,
colors all aspects of our humanity in their eyes: physical, spiritual,
emotional, making us desirable to them and acceptable to ourselves.
So what is there about Jesus Christ that would cause gay and lesbian
people to throw our lot in with him? What is there about this man that would
cause those oppressed in his name to search him out and cling to him? Two
words...HIS LOVE.
His love impelled him to come to us in the first place. St. Paul tells
us, "Though in the form of God, Jesus did not count equality with God
something to be grasped. But he emptied himself, taking the form of a slave,
becoming as human beings are." (Phil 2:6-7) Jesus did not cling to his
position as Son of God in the face of the need of his sisters and brothers.
So he came to us in the fragile, non-threatening flesh of an infant. He grew
from child to gangly adolescent and underwent all the accompanying changes
and feelings and drives. He worked with his back and hands, wiped sweat from
his brow, enjoyed food and friends, gazed in wonder at the evening skies,
suffered a parent's death, and knew there was more to do than remain in the
safety of his hometown. Thus he was baptized into the human condition of the
poor and outcast, the struggling and the labeled. Jesus saw beneath labels on
people and simply saw people. He fearlessly spoke out against injustice,
confronting those who used God as a cudgel, while tenderly speaking to the
broken and searching.
"He was humbler yet, even to accepting death, death on a cross." (Phil 2:
8). Opposition to him rose to a fevered pitch, corrupting one friend into
selling him out to his enemies, another to deny Jesus touched his life at
all, and scattering the rest in a fearful search for safety. Jesus was
taken, beaten to shreds, pushed and prodded to the place of execution,
stripped naked and alone before hate-filled eyes, and tacked up like a
bloodied rag. Jesus never "fell" in love with us. It was a decision, lived
each day of his life and ratified with blood and nails and rough-hewn boards.
And his empty tomb trumpets the joyful news that this passionate man, the
love of God, in human flesh, is with us and for us still. This is why he is better
than all other lovers. His love never waxes or wanes. It's searing heat
still warms, still comforts, still breathes life and calls us to greatness.
That is my Lover, our Lover, Jesus!
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The Song of Songs : A New Translation With an Introduction and Commentary Ariel Bloch (Commentary), Chana Bloch (Commentary) Levi Ben Gershom
Other Articles By Tom Yeshua:
Part 1: "My Love, How You Delight Me":
Part 2: "My Love, How You Delight Me":
Conclusion: "My Love, How You Delight Me":
Also In This Issue:
With Feeling
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