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When prisoners of war return home, many of them have indicated that the main
thing that helped them to survive with the least amount of mental anguish
was their attitude which, in most cases, involved a belief in a God who was
in control of their lives in spite of their circumstances.
We notice that same attitude being manifested by those who were persecuted
in the Bible like Paul, Steven and most vividly by Christ Himself who
conferred with His Father about everything, particularly His suffering.
Even while on the Cross as a last comment and act of faith He said, "into
Thy hands I commend my spirit."
If only we could learn to surrender our lives to His care daily and totally
we would be at peace without any emotional suffering. The Bible indicates
He is in control and we need not fret about our current suffering because it
is short lived when compared to eternity. It indicates He always has our
best interests in mind even when we think He has abandoned us and we will
spend eternity in peace, glorified even as He is glorified. Knowing that is
not enough, however. We need to place our trust in that truth else we will
suffer needlessly.
A Poem, which has had tremendous comfort to me and causes me to tear up each
time I read it, is called Footprints. It reminds me
just how much we are in His care even when we are in the most pain and
suffering to the point we may think we can't take it any more because we are
unaware of His presence. But the truth is, He is there with and for us in
our darkest hours of suffering. We need only look to Him with trust to be
comforted and at peace regarding our situation regardless of how painful it
feels and regardless of how hopeless it may seem.
A verse that can have significant impact upon our attitude regarding the
pain and suffering we endure in this life, is to realize how insignificant
it is when compared to the joy and peace we, who place our trust in Christ,
will experience throughout eternity. It was written by Paul and is found in
Rom:8:18: "For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not
worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."
This article is not an attempt to discount the horrific pain suffered by
Christ, Paul and Steven for their beliefs in God the Father. Neither is it
an attempt to diminish the brutality suffered by GLBT individuals, like
Matthew Sheppard and all to many other GLBT individuals, simply because
their sexual orientation is different from the majority. Rather it is an
attempt to help the reader, regardless of their sexual orientation, realize
that in our hours of pain, sorrow, suffering, feelings of hopelessness and
doubt we can find a peace that will ease our suffering.
What the author hopes will happen for the reader is that this article will
give him or her hope that regardless of the pain they may be experiencing
because they have been rejected by family, former friends, the church or
society as a whole, peace can be experienced merely by a change in one's
attitude regarding their afflictions and there is a good reason for not
giving up on one's self.
Suffering comes from two totally different sources. One is that brought
about as a result of external forces and the other is that which results from our own internal attitude.
While our mental attitude cannot take away the physical pain inflicted upon
us by cruel and ignorant people, it can have an effect upon our
psychological and emotional pain if we meditate upon the meaning of Paul's
remark in Romans 8:18 by realizing even if our pain lasted an entire lifetime, it cannot be compared to the glory we will experience throughout
eternity. I am confident the pain suffered by Paul, Steven and Matthew
Sheppard and others seems as if it had never happened immediately upon going
through the door leading into eternal life which is filled with happiness,
and joy beyond measure and where no painful tears exists.
The body goes into shock when we experience certain severe physical pains
and even emotional pain too traumatic for us to handle in a fully conscious
state. Those who have been severally burned report there came a point when they
felt no pain due to the nerve endings being damaged. Those who survived
near drowning accidents report a peace came over them when their lungs
filled with water and they gave up. Those involved in car accidents which
caused their bodies to be twisted to nearly unrecognizable states went into
shock. Some had out-of-body experiences and viewed their bodies without
pain or unhappy feelings. Those who have experienced emotional trauma from
being raped or abused in other ways by parents or relatives or even friends
and society have been known to become schizophrenic or psychotic in order to
mentally escape the emotional pain of remembering the experience that caused
it. That is not to say all those who are schizophrenic or psychotic became that
way as a result of traumatic emotional pain, but many have and we cannot
overlook its protective powers.
It is the author's hope that the reader will come to realize that in spite
of the pain one might experience in this life, God, in His infinite wisdom,
has provided physical, mental and spiritual attributes within His human
creations to help them cope with certain sufferings that are to painful to
deal with in a conscious state. Our spiritual nature and mind can be
comforted by knowing the truth and being set free to be all that He created
us to be. Fortunately, most who read this never had to endure or will have
to endure pain to that extent. Hopefully the pain you have had or are now
experiencing can be soothed by having a change in attitude towards it by
coming to a better understanding of who you are in Christ and thereby be
helped not to be quite as fearful of what might be.
Many times our pain comes from worrying needlessly about what might happen
and then it never happens. God told us to have no care for tomorrow for it
will take care of itself. Thus, we are to live life one day at a time. We
can,t do anything about the past and we don't know what tomorrow holds. We
can only be in control of what is happening at the moment. See Matthew 6:34
and the previous verses leading up to it. If only we could keep in touch
with that, we would do a lot less worrying. The pain of our suffering would
be reduced as a result of having a different attitude by viewing it in a
different manner based upon our faith in God. Subsequently, the experiences
we will have to draw from in which we experienced overcoming our grief,
pain, sorrow, rejection, and condemnation as a result of trusting God will
in turn continue to strengthen our faith in God and help us overcome the
pain of suffering faster if it occurs in the future.
Often we do not have much control over external forces which causes us pain,
but we do have some control, depending on the intensity and the nature of
the external forces inflicting the pain upon us. If someone stabs us or
beats us up, there will be physical pain and we don't have much, if any,
control over that kind of pain once it happens. On the other hand, if the
external force is the result of someone calling us nasty names or rejecting
us, we can have complete control over that type of pain and it is all a
matter of our attitude. We can choose not to let it bother us or we can
obsess over it until we are an emotional wreck.
Most people, unfortunately, do no experience control, however, because they
do not have the right attitude nor the faith resulting from experience nor
accurate information regarding the truth as found in scriptures. They may
have the right desire, but the wrong information has been taught to them and
they suffer consequentially rather than experiencing the peace that comes
from the truth.
If our attitude is to react as a victim then we will experience the
consequences of being a victim. If, on the other hand, our attitude is to
respond like the victors that we already are in Christ, then we will not
suffer the consequences of being victimized. We GLBT Christians are victors
not victims just as much as any other Christian according to the truth found
in the Bible.
In other words, if we have and maintain a mentally healthy attitude which
requires that we have confidence in ourselves because of our victory in
Christ, accept who we are regardless of what others say, think or do and if
we keep our focus upon who we have been created to be and by whom we were
created, then regardless of what others, who reject us, say, think or do, it
will have no debilitating effect on us.
Rather, it will free us to have pity on them realizing it is they, not us,
who are the real victims of Satan's lies and we do not need to be hooked
into that kind of suffering unless we choose to. Sadly, a lot of people
choose to be victims rather than realizing they are already victorious
through Christ.
Is it easier said than done? Not at all, but in some cases it may take years
to arrive at that state of being or it can happen instantaneously depending
on one's ability to comprehend their relationship to God and/or surrender
their lives to Christ resulting in a change of their attitude.
How do we get to that point in our lives where what normally would have
brought us pain, suffering and depression no longer does so? We can either
study to the point something finally dawns on us that the solution is merely
to surrender our entire lives to Christ for Him to take care of based upon
His Holy Word as recorded in the Bible when correctly translated and
interpreted or we can just get so frustrated we finally give up and
surrender by faith alone without sufficiently satisfying understanding. I
guess you might say the latter is by blind faith and the former is faith by
sufficient knowledge and understanding. Either works as long as we do it by
faith and not strive to do it by works heavily steeped in legalisms. We can
never have complete understanding so it is a given there is no need to start
that venture. Actually, just giving up and surrendering without a basis for
doing so manifests more faith, but most are not comfortable with this blind
faith approach and need some basis for what they believe. Those who are
less inquisitive usually get there quicker than those of us who seem to have
a need to know why and on what basis. Those of us with a greater need to
know also carry a greater burden of responsibility, but this is not the
place to get into that.
We hear about "let go and let God." If only we could grasp the significance
of what that means, it could happen instantaneously. Most of us, however,
struggle until the pain gets so bad we finally give in and find out the only
way to survive our suffering is to turn it all over to God. The result is
the same. It just takes longer for the whiner, the fighter, the "oh ye of
little faither," but it can happen instantaneously. Once it does happen,
the person's immediate reaction is: "I only wish I would have done it
sooner." So why not choose to do it sooner rather than later right this
moment? Just tell God at this moment "I am turning all my suffering over to
You. I am not getting anywhere by hanging on to it. In fact it has been
hindering my desire to live an abundant life like You want me to."
Unfortunately, some just give up and commit suicide without turning their
concerns over to the Lord. I always find it extremely sad when I learn
about those individuals because it could have been easily avoided had they
been able to be reached and had their attitude changed. That is why I am so
dedicated to helping suffering individuals change their attitude. I know
from experience it can happen. I was there, but I am not there any more,
thanks be to God. I say this in all humility not to brag by any means. I
was one of those slow learners, but I made it. Now I can look back and
realize it could have happened a long time ago if only I would have met
someone who knew and was willing to share the truth with me like I try to
share with hurting individuals. But, then again, I also believe God had a
reason for me, personally, not to have that instantaneous experience because
I may have taken the experience lightly and not had the compassion then I
now have as a result. Thus I can honestly thank God for my pain and
suffering. I have learned from it. I have profited from it. It is behind
me now. Does this mean I will never suffer in the future like I did in the
past? Not necessarily. But it does mean I have a wealth of knowledge and
experience to help me have a faith I didn't have in the past. Thus, I have
no anxiety about the future and I have seen how God had a hand in bringing
me to where I am today and I can believe with all my heart I have no need to
fear tomorrow for it will take care of itself. Why not learn from my
experiences vicariously rather than going through what I had to go through
experientially?
When studying to be a counselor and while going through therapy myself as
part of becoming qualified, I was taught, and eventually learned, depression
is a state of choice in most cases and those who suffer from it suffer
needlessly. If it is due to a chemical imbalance, then, most likely, those
who suffer from it suffer needlessly, also, because there are chemicals
available to help almost anyone. I believe God works through doctors just
as much as He works through spiritual leaders and do not hesitate to suggest
those who are suffering seek help medically as well as spiritually.
Easter 2000 has just passed. Often in pageants we are reminded how it was
Jesus, rebellious attitude about the teachings of the Pharisees and the
Sadducees (the religious and legal leaders of His day) that caused Him to be
put to death. In Mathew 23:15, Jesus is recorded as saying: "Woe
unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye compass sea and land to
make one proselyte, and when he is made, ye make him twofold more the child
of hell than yourselves." Many influential religious leaders today do the
same thing. They go to extreme lengths to get one to receive Christ, join
their church or organization and by guilt trips are made to contribute large
sums of money and behave exactly like them. The guilt trips continue
because their legalistic teachings seldom mention the love and grace of God
except to make their sermons sound spiritual when in fact they are anything
but spiritual. Next thing you know, the new convert is just as perverted in
his treating of others as those who proselytized him or her in the first
place.
Many of the pageants, also, remind us that the events leading up to Christ
being crucified and the crucifixion itself were done according to prophecy.
One striking example of Jesus putting them in their place indicating He is
the fulfillment of the Law, as prophesied, is found in Matthew 22:36-39 when
Jesus was asked, "Master, which is the great commandment in the law?" Jesus
said unto him, "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and
with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great
commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour
as thyself."
In contrast to the legalistic teachings of the Pharisees, Scribes and the
Sadducees, Jesus went on to say a very significant thing that many people
overlook. He said in verse 40: "On these two commandments hang all the law
and the prophets." In other words, if we obey those two laws it will be
counted as if we had kept all the law and it was what the prophets were
trying to convey as the eventual outcome in their prophecies.
Thus, there is no need to be so legalistic about our right standing before
God like the religious leaders of His time were trying to impose upon their
followers with guilt trips in order to maintain power, status and wealth or
like the religious leaders of our time are doing in like manner. All to
many preachers are hung up on preaching about sin and its consequences and
how bad people are. They seldom preach about the love and grace of God
through Jesus Christ. Most people already know they are sinful. They just
don't know what to do about it. Jesus repeatedly attempted to explain what
could be done about it and for that He was put to death in our place.
Rom:4:5 states: "But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that
justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness." This
applies to ever single person who walks the face of the earth. We are no
longer under the Law. We have been set free. Set free to sin? No! Set
free from the Law to live life free from guilt, and free from trying to earn
eternal life by works. We don't have to be sinless to please God. He is
pleased when we place our trust in His Son and acknowledge who He is We
should try not to sin to express our Love for God and to keep Satan from
robbing us the joy of leading an abundant life, guilt free, full of peace
and joy.
Only because of Christ we GLBT children of God have just as much right to
feel guiltless as anyone else, even though we are guilty of sin, like anyone
else, homosexuality, not being one of those sins according to accurate Bible
translation and interpretation. Like Jesus and again because of Him, we
GLBT Christians have a right to rebel and a responsibility to rebel and
ought, therefore, to rebel against the false rhetoric being spread by the
religious and legal leaders of our times. We need to do so by educating
them, in general, and their followers, in particular, with the truth
regarding homosexuality. However, we need to do it with an attitude of love
and non-violence else we are as guilty as those we accuse and rebel against.
A phrase I have coined and teach to those that I counsel with because it has
become very meaningful to me is that we need to "understand that they do not
understand, and love and accept them anyhow."
Jesus indicated those who came to arrest Him could have done it a long time
before they did. Why didn't they? Because it was prophesized to be done
the way it happened. Dear reader, some of your suffering is in order that
the will of God can be fulfilled and in order that He will be glorified by
the manner in which He wipes away your pain and suffering. As a result, you
will be both the recipient of His love and grace and a testimony to His
power to heal. Thus, I encourage you not to despair, but to change your
attitude and place 100% of your trust in God, not just enough to make it
into Heaven. Romans 8:28 states: "And we know that all things work together
for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his
purpose." Thus, your suffering will work for you good if you leave it in
God's hands to deal with as He sees fit knowing He has your best interests
in mind.
With this attitude one need not suffer as a victim of condemning words, but
rather can rejoice in the victory, which is theirs through Christ Jesus.
If you are one who is suffering the pain of rejection and persecution by
family, relatives, friends, the work place or depression, worry and may be
contemplating suicide, please know there is hope for you and that there are
many willing to help you. You can find some of those people on Whosoever's
List on ONElist and many
other GLBT friendly sites many of which can be linked to from this site, but
I beg you not to give up on yourself. Please don't despair, there is no
need to suffer, particularly not all alone.
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Other Articles By Steven Hopesharer:
Forgiveness:
Also In This Issue:
How to Transcend the Spiritual Sufferings of the Wildnerness Experience
Finishing The Journey:
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