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Faith in the year 2000 will be very much like faith in the year 1999.
It's a progressive walk with our God as we personally understand and
conceptualize Him or Her. One man's walk with God is worth examining as it
parallels our own complexities as gay Christians. Let's look at Joseph of
Genesis 37- 45.
Joseph was obviously his father's favorite. He had many brothers and
sisters, but it was for Joseph that the multi-colored coat was made that was
the final straw for jealous siblings. Joseph was the youngest and obviously a
little pampered. The Bible portrays him as naive, boastful, arrogant and
insensitive. He told his brothers of his dreams to rule over them. He
tattled on his brothers to his father and generally was an annoying child.
His brothers were not to happy with him and on their last trip together they
tossed him into a well, originally planning to kill him. When they saw a
caravan passing by they sold him to the caravan as a slave. He was 17. They
lied to their father and told him that Joseph had been eaten by wild animals.
This must have been quite a shock to Joseph. In his own privileged position
and the arrogance that went with that, he probably didn't even know the
seriousness of the anger toward him from his brothers. One day he was the
apple of his father's eye, the next day he was on his own, abandoned, with no
rights, no money, no friends, going to a strange world where they didn't even
speak the same language. Betrayed by his own brothers who should have
protected him. He was actually sold twice, and ended up in Egypt.
The Bible
leaves out a lot when it comes to the emotional content of Joseph's life. We
can only imagine, from our own experiences, how terrified he must have been.
Perhaps he had been physically hurt when he was thrown in the well. Perhaps
he was abused by his captors. His arrogance more then likely did not
diminish overnight and I would imagine that learning when to keep his mouth
shut was probably a difficult lesson for him. We don't know if Joseph
suddenly prayed to God to save him, or if he had been consistently spiritual
in his younger years. What we know is that he was Hebrew but the Bible
doesn't tell us much else. However, we do know that God's hand was on him
and God blessed him in every situation that he got into.
Joseph was sold in
Egypt to Potiphar. He lived well and Joseph was blessed. Joseph's blessings
extended to Potiphar's household. All went well until Potiphar's wife
noticed this beautiful young man and tried to seduce him. He didn't want to
mess up his living arrangements again -- so he declined. She was angry at his
rejection and told her husband that he had raped her. Even when Joseph tried
to be good, it didn't seem to work for him. Potiphar was angry, believing
his wife, and threw Joseph in jail. This young man's life began to resemble
a roller coaster with all the ups and downs! Again, he had to start over.
This time because of a false accusation! This time in jail. How many times
have we, as gay and lesbian Christians been tossed out, or wrongfully
accused, or portrayed falsely by our straight brothers and sisters in Christ?
How many churches have we been kicked out of because we're gay? Maybe we
got a little arrogant or angry at all the misinterpretations and lies that
were directed toward us. Was Joseph angry?
Was he resigned to the fact that his life seemed to be a mess! Did he cry,
did he scream, did he shake his fist at God saying, "Why me?" Or was he
confident that God would take care of him? Did he know the holy writings of
the day? Had he studied them? Did he know that God had promised to take care of
anyone who had been abandoned by their family in Psalm 27:10:
The Bible doesn't answer these questions. Perhaps the Bible is silent so
that we can see more of ourselves, and our situations, in the character of
Joseph. God was taking care of him in a dramatic way. His new home was the
jail. He spent many years there. The Bible doesn't say exactly how many. It
only says that he went in a beautiful young man and came out a mature man
who could interpret dreams. God continued to bless him and pretty soon he
became the equivalent of a "trustee", helping to run the jail. Two of the
King's officers were put in prison with him. Joseph interpreted their dreams
and when the one was returned to the King, he forgot Joseph's request to tell
the King of his gift. Two more years went by until one night the King had a
dream and needed an interpreter. Only then did the man remember Joseph and
sent for him. Joseph interpreted the dream and advised the King to stockpile food as a famine was coming in 7 years. The King was impressed and he
put Joseph in charge of the palace as Governor! From prison keeper to palace
Governor in 24 hours! The roller coaster hadn't stopped, it had just come to a
rest.
Some life lessons are only learned through trials. Much like David
who hid in the wilderness while he was running from Saul for many years (I
Sam. 23), and Moses who spent 40 years in the wilderness preparing for his
ministry (Exodus 2 and Acts 7:30) and Jesus who spent 40 days in the
wilderness preparing for his ministry
(Matt. 4). There are life lessons that can only be taught through hardship.
Charles Durham writes in Temptation: Help for Struggling Christians:
Joseph stocked up the food and seemed to be enjoying his new position. That's
when it happened. Guess who came to buy some food? His brothers! Part of
Joseph's job was to decide who could buy food and who couldn't - he's the #2
guy in Egypt. Now
his brothers didn't recognize him. He was older, dressed in the Egyptian
style that reflected his office and he spoke a different language.
Besides, if they even thought about their brother at all, they probably
thought of him as some slave in a far off land toiling and having a miserable
existence.
So now Joseph was presented with an ethical and moral dilemma. The
ones who have hurt him the most now need his help. How would he react?
Revenge is sweet - can't you just sense it? But part of the life lesson that
we've been taught is that revenge belongs only to God. We are to show grace
and the love of God to those who have hurt us. And you just know that this
has to be a test. At first Joseph was rude to them! And before he gave
them the obligatory forgiveness, he decided to play with them a little, much
like a cat plays with a mouse. He accused them of being spies and tossed them
in jail for 3 days. Then he let them out and told them to go get their
youngest brother (who had stayed home) and come back. He kept one of the
older brothers in jail to make sure they return. The brothers, with guilty
consciences, discussed it and decided that their misfortune is pay back for what
they did to Joseph years ago - bad karma coming back to haunt them. Joseph
ordered that they may buy food and then put the money they bought it with,
back in their bags with the grain. They returned to their father, discovered the
money and didn't know what to think. The father refused to send the youngest
brother, Benjamin, back. He didn't want to lose another baby, so he let
the older brother stay in jail. [Sounds like dad still played favorites with
his boys.] They did not to Egypt for quite some time. Finally, when they
once again run out of food, they had to go back. So the father reluctantly
sent Benjamin along. When they got close, Joseph was told of their return
and he ordered a large feast to be prepared. They ate and visited, and again
Joseph ordered their bags filled with grain and the money they had paid for it
with. But this time he also told his servants to put a silver cup in their
bag. After they left the palace, he sent his soldiers after them to arrest
them for stealing. Joseph's plan was to keep the youngest brother Benjamin
and send the others back to get his father. However, one of the older
brothers begged Joseph not to keep Benjamin, because after the loss of their
younger brother Joseph, he feared another loss of the now youngest brother
would probably kill his father. Joseph was touched by his impassioned plea
and he revealed to his brothers who he really was. At this point, the brothers
were seriously afraid of Joseph and probably thought he was nuts. It took some
convincing but the brothers finally relaxed with it. He told them to go
home, get dad and their families and come back to Egypt to live. Of course,
dad didn't believe it when they got home and the boys had to come clean and
tell dad the truth about selling Joseph into slavery. The entire clan moved
to Egypt and began what was originally a peaceful coexistence with the
Egyptian people. Later that changed and it took Moses to get them out of
Egypt. But that's a different story.
What a tale of mistreatment, intrigue, revenge, and forgiveness! Is this
tale literally true? It doesn't matter if it is or not. It's a story of
abandonment, God's grace and adoption, ultimate forgiveness and the healing
of a very dysfunctional family.
What would we do as gay Christians if the pastor or parents, or siblings who
kicked us out of our homes or churches came to us years later for something
critical like food or shelter or money? Could we do what Joseph did? It's a
whopper of a moral dilemma. I am personally glad that Joseph showed his
human side by toying with his brothers for a while before he forgave them.
We, as gay and lesbian Christians have been abandoned. Abandoned by the
churches that baptized us and promised us acceptance as brothers and sisters
in Christ. Abandoned by our genetic families that promised to love us and
take care of us, no matter what. Many of us have been abused by the straight
churches through false accusations of something ridiculous, just to get rid
of us because we're gay. Many of us have been humiliated by our families or
churches trying to shame us into being straight or exorcise the gay demons out of us.
Many of us have been abused by ex - gay type programs with false promises
of "normalcy" which only increases the very heavy load of guilt. And, of
course the ultimate betrayal is the excommunication/disownership of the
family/church. The "you're dead to us as long as you're gay," followed by
the ultimate lie that one cannot be gay and Christian. All of this is an
elaborate attempt to keep Christianity as a straight private club (before
1865 a white, straight private club). Thank God that we have a parent God
that refused to allow these lies to go unchallenged. God doesn't allow hate
in God's name. God had something to say about all of this and stories such as
Joseph and the Prodigal Son speak to our hearts in tones that are louder then
the hatred which speaks to our ears. We have a place in God's family. If our
human families don't want us, that doesn't mean our Heavenly parent doesn't
want us.
For many of us who have found the truth of God's love, we now have
another step to take in the walk of faith. It's the step that Joseph took -
forgiveness. Forgiveness of those who would have -- and in some cases still
would -- rather see us dead than accepted by any religious denomination. People
very much like Joseph's brothers. If we hold onto our hate, it will destroy
our relationship with our parent God of mercy. But how hard it is to forgive
people who have sinned against us and hurt us so much as to have altered the
entire direction of our lives! But then maybe that's exactly why these
people were sent into our lives. Maybe the altered course is really a
blessing that we didn't recognize. Would Joseph have ever become the
Governor of Egypt if his brothers hadn't sold him into slavery? May God give
us the grace and courage of Joseph to meet these challenges in our
progressive walk of faith in honesty, with our God.
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Temptation, Help for Struggling Christians Charles Durham Chris Glaser
Other Articles By L. Louise:
Also In This Issue:
With Feeling
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