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In times like these in which we practically can cure aging with the
ingredients of Mother Nature and modern science, children are still
starving in the world, while others are killing one another. The
rapidly encroaching lack of safe spaces in the world prompts me to
ponder that which preserves the very essence of the human soul. So it
seems appropriate to take a look into the development of individual
self-esteem and the practice of creating sustainable communities in our
world.
A powerful book I am reading is Empowering the Tribe by Richard L.
Pimental-Habib discusses self-esteem and the roots of homophobia, as
well as methods of "soul-preservation." In his introduction, he
shared of a visit to the beach home of a couple of women in Carmel,
California. He spoke of the acknowledgments of worthiness, of feeling
good about himself. He speaks of the message of self-worth that is
absorbed in this gift to himself of those relaxing moments of
connectedness with all that is. The idea for his book came from that
experience, and while written especially for gay men and lesbians, the
book's benefits perhaps only begin with our tribe of all colors.
He proposes an interesting marriage for gay men and lesbian women, and
it is this marriage that has particular relevance to me at this point in
history, as both legal and religious institutions deny the access of
our holy unions to their privileges and sacraments.
It resonated
through my being in a similar vein as did Chris Glaser's Coming Out as
Sacrament. Glaser recognized and acknowledged the theme of coming
out, even as that of the Bible, but he speaks to each of us individually
to be the persons we were chosen and called to be. Even while
heterosexist culture relegates our unions as lesser than their own,
coming out might well be viewed as a sacrament to which we are no doubt
entitled, at least by our Creator God, if not by the churches and the
law of the land.
You simply need to commit to yourself, whoever you are at this
moment--however you look, however you feel, whatever you think of
yourself. The answer lies in committing right now.
Try repeating these morning, noon, and night -- whenever and wherever your
self-esteem requires a shot in the arm. Consider taping them to your
bathroom mirror or on the dashboard of your car or on your desk. Let
these affirmations become your new self-fulfilling prophecies!
I am worth whatever I make up my mind to be worth.
I can believe me when I say
I am a fabulous, unique, highly valuable, and gifted work in progress.
(Pimental-Habib, 1999, p. 16)
On this eve of the millennium, prior to the century's turn, I exited a
job that was rapidly becoming ruled by managed care, a medical assembly
line, in which there is no room for the human equation in its bottom
line. As I ponder what is happening to the healing process and where I
fit in the picture, I examine my own spiritual roots. Also, a former
client asked me to share with her of my faith, and asked me where I went
to church. I wrote her back, more or less as follows, that I wish I
had a church to offer, but my Temple on this earth is the body that
houses my soul. I don,t know of a church to recommend. But the core of
my faith is the foundation of my chosen theology, the "Inner Light" or
Light of God within every one. It is not dependent upon a church body,
and the Society of "Friends", as they usually call themselves,
generally have meetings, rather than organized church. They usually
center these meetings on silent prayer and waiting in silence in Divine
Presence. The degree of sharing usually depends upon the persons
gathered and the social process is one of consensus.
The word "Quaker" came from the use of others who derisively called them
"queer folk" because they were perceived to quake before the
Lord. Persons who have identified themselves as "Friends" or "of a
friendly persuasion " have often been considered peculiar in their ways,
asserting conscientious objector status and refusing to take oaths upon
the Bible, because they professed to tell the truth in every moment of
everyday life. In practice, their respect for one another was
historically played out in addressing one another as thee and thou,
rather than differentiating according to status, as with Mr. Dr., Judge,
Honorable Queen and so forth.
M. Scott Peck, author of The Road Less Traveled, writes of stumbling
into community at Friends Seminary, in his book on community making and
peace, The Different Drum. Although his experiences there took on a
more profound meaning to him later in his life, it seems that there was
no small measure of "friendly persuasion" there, and an individualism he refers to as "soft" rather than rugged. Respect and appreciation for individual difference
was somehow a given in that atmosphere.
Peck explores other experiences and the true meaning of community, a
safe place, emptiness, vulnerability, integration, and integrity in The
Different Drum. He also discusses his own personal disarmament and
empowerment. He looks at various dimensions of the arms race, as well
as the Christian Church in the United States and the United States
Government. His words are of a spiritual journey toward self-acceptance,
our true belonging, as well as new hope for the world. One of the
main guidelines he suggests for community empowerment is to seek out
people who are different from you and remain inclusive. He speaks of
the battle to change the rules of human communication.
Recently, Discover, [October 1999 issue] featured an article by O. Morton referring to James Lovelock's
Gaia hypothesis, which the public first heard of in the 1970s. "The
idea that organisms collaborate to keep the planet habitable was once
dismissed as New Age Earth science. Now even skeptics are taking a
second look." In order for life to continue, sulfur has to be recycled
from the sea to the land.
Lovelock has written: "Gaia forces a planetary perspective. It is the
health of the planet that matters, not that of some individual species
of organisms." (Morton, 1999, p. 102) There is something to this
alive organization business and I feel it in the waters of my being, and
especially at the beach. It is a recognition of our oneness with all
that is.
As I assume more responsibility for the world in which I live, I must
renew my strength. For this the still small voice of my soul bids me to
Light a candle in the darkness, as well as to open myself to the Light
in others. In that quiet place, in the stillness, the silence, I can
listen and wait for a quickening or opening within my soul.
This spiritual discipline is perhaps a fundamental pillar for practice
and one I suspect justifies ultimate concern. It is a rapturous thing
to come alive to the Divine Within, but coming out alive is our
challenge in the world-at-large. In the face of righteous homophobia
and heterosexism all around us, meditation is but one method, perhaps
akin to opening to the Inner Light, in which we can empower ourselves
individually and as a tribe. Although I have never been an avid
student of meditation, Pimental-Habib challenges me to want to learn to
utilize progressive relaxation, the sailboat visualization, and
visualization of a safe place. I am challenged to work toward the
creation of places of hope and courage amidst the vicissitudes of change
and the threat of internalized homophobia that keeps us from knowing our
spiritual selves -- from feeling deserving, as well as from connecting
with one another. The author's question echoes in my soul, "Can you
see yourself as worthy of a life of bliss?"
I am thankful to Lovelock
for daring to believe the earth was alive; to Peck and Friends for
marching to the beat of a different drum, and opening the way for a road
less traveled; and for Glaser for suggesting our coming out process as a
sacrament. I am grateful to Pimental-Habib for his inspired work
reminding me once again of meditation,s benefits; and not only for
asking the right questions, but for spelling out to me that delightful
subtle message of self-worth inherent in a trip to the beach. I
believe, along with this beach brother, that any message from within can
overcome any message from external sources. I had never been able to
quite put the good feelings into words upon many occasion, but every
time at the ocean, on some very deep level, resonating through my very
being, I got
the message.
As the millennium turns, perhaps Christians would do well to focus more
on original blessing, rather than original sin. Perhaps as we take
responsibility for our own healing, that which should be the real bottom
line of ministry, medicine, and perhaps even the muse, -- we will
celebrate the message that is our birthright. We are all children of
God. Is not there a mark of God's creation in each grain of sand? I
know this when I am at the ocean, especially. In that special blessing,
She assures me she is Alive. I even fundamentally get the message in my
Body -- a Temple of the Divine -- that I am lovable. I belong in this fragile
web of biodiversity, after all. I am worthy.
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Chris Glaser
M. Scott Peck M. Scott Peck
Richard L. Pimental-Habib
Other Articles By Carol Stabel:
Coming Out To God: The Path Of Homospirituality
Recovery of a
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