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Lightbulb Jokes
1. How many Charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, since his or her hands are in the air anyway. Or...Ten. One to
change the light bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
2. How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. God has predestined when the light will be on. Or...Calvinists do not
change light bulbs. They simply read the instructions and pray the light bulb
will be the one chosen to be changed.
3.How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
Change???
4. How many neo-orthodox does it take to change a light bulb?
No one knows. They can't tell the difference between light and darkness.
5. How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
6. How many independent fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, because any more might result in too much cooperation.
7. How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
At least ten, as they need to hold a debate on whether or not the light bulb
exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb, they
still might not change it, to keep from alienating those who might use other
forms of light.
8. How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They always use candles.
9. How many worship leaders does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But soon all those around can warm up to its glowing.
10. How many members of an established Bible teaching church that is over 20
years old does it take to change a light bulb?
One to actually change the bulb, and nine to say how much they liked the old
one.
11. How many United Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?
This statement was issued: We choose not to make a statement either in favor
of or against the need for a light bulb. However if in your own journey you
have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine.
You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your
personal relationship with your light bulb (or light source, or non-dark
resource), and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service,
in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including
incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted all of which are
equally valid paths to luminescence.
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