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The Laws of the Natural Universe


Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines or traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Lines: When you walk IN the grocery store, there's never anyone in the checkout line.

Inverse Hair Dryer Law: You're sure you hear the phone ringing in the background, until you turn the hair dryer off.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Bio mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theater Law: At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Natural Attraction: If you and your date are the only two on a five-mile stretch of beach, the family of five will set up right next to you.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Law of the Last Word: "Hey, watch this!"

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