Learning to Love the Questions
"Religion, for me, has
more to do with living in the uncertainties, with loving questions,
than with answering them. In the end, the hole in the soul is not filled
by answers. It is healed only by deeper questions."
--Alan Jones, Reimagining
Christianity
"If you read the Bible and come
away with more answers than questions, you haven't understood the Bible,"
a seminary professor of mine once said. As a young seminarian I was crestfallen
by the comment. After all, I was taking his exegesis class to learn some
answers to my questions about the Bible. I was prepared for him to give
me the tools to get at THE answers hidden among those cryptic passages,
and here he was telling me that he would do no such thing. Instead, he
would give me more questions than answers. I considered asking the school
for my money back, but trudged on with the class anyway. Little did I
know that soon I would learn to love the questions, and be leery of any
answers, especially the tidy, easy ones.
My professor was adept at pointing out the contradictions of scripture,
but instead of being afraid to admit that such contradictions existed
in a book held "inerrant" by some people, he taught us to see purpose
in the contradictions. They are there to make you think - to move you
beyond simple, pat answers. If one part of the book tells you that you're
saved by faith alone, but another part tells you that works earn you grace,
you have to stop and think. You suddenly have more questions that you
do answers, and you begin to expand your thinking. Some more conservative
believers, bent on getting more answers than questions, will seek to harmonize
such passages but then they tend to harmonize in the direction they want
to go anyway. Living in the questions keeps you off balance - taking into
account all the evidence for or against seemingly contradictory positions.
Living in the questions means you keep your options open - thus keeping
both your mind and (probably most importantly) your heart open to the
stirrings of the Spirit.
Not everyone can live in the ever changing landscape of the questions.
People crave certainty because it gives them a sense of security. They
want to know that they're following the right path. They want to know
that the religious tradition they've invested their lives in is the RIGHT
one. Many get that security by defending their faith tradition tooth and
nail and condemning to eternal hell those who dare to believe differently.
When they read the Bible they read it as love letter meant just for them.
They find what they like, use it to form their hard and fast answers and
disregard the rest - pulling out the "God's Word is inerrant" argument
if faced with any hard questions.
If conservative Christians deserve any credit it's that they understand
this part of human nature better than liberal Christians do. The conservative
strain of Christianity is growing because our world is so off-kilter,
so dangerously uncertain that the last place you want to feel off balance
and unsafe is in your faith. There you want certainty and security. Conservative
churches have given this to their flock, mostly in the form of a literal
interpretation of scripture. Read literally the book can be seen as God's
inerrant directions to us on how to live and takes our fears away by assuring
us that we've found the one and only way to get to God. They're on the
solid rock and all other ground is sinking sand.
Many liberal Christians don't mind it when the sand shifts now and then
- that's the opportunity they need to grow and learn and ultimately draw
closer to God. It's that hallmark of questions and uncertainty that turns
many away from liberal Christianity. Who wants questions when you can
have answers? Who wants faith rattling doubt when you can have unquestioning
belief?
It's been said that the opposite of faith is not doubt, but certainty.
Those who have certainty have no need for faith. Their questions are all
answered and they know they're right. Those of us who love to live in
the questions, however - we need faith, lots and lots of it, to make it
through each new question and to continue to exist in the old ones.
The Bible = Certainty
Those who need certainty, however, seem to zero in on the Bible. They're
so certain of their beliefs, they say, because the Bible tells them they
are right. Instead of seeing the Bible for what it is - a compilation
of divergent writings with unique voices and perspectives that often contradict
one another or contain factual or scientific errors - they see it as God's
instruction book given specifically to them. They take the words literally,
reading out of context and without any idea of the history of the book.
With that kind of belief, the Bible soon becomes an idol - a leather-bound
version of God that they can have, hold and display on their coffee tables
as a sign that they have found the one and only true way to connect with
God.
Such beliefs can lead to some strange ideas about the Bible. Driving
around Atlanta a few years ago I saw a battered pick up truck sporting
a bumper sticker that read, "If it ain't KJV, it ain't Bible."
"Well, there go the original autographs," I chuckled to myself. Apparently
those Hebrew and Greek writers had it all wrong and God had to wait around
for some real infallible writers to show up in the 15th century. It made
me want to get up beside him, honk my horn and yell, "1611, brother!"
But, then I'm not even sure he'd understand a reference to the date the
"real" Bible was published. For him, apparently the Bible fell from heaven
written in perfect Olde English and that was the end of the matter.
I've also heard the King James Version referred to as "the Bible Jesus
read" - an even more absurd thought if you actually take the time to consider
the statement. How handy it was for Jesus to have his entire life written
out for him so he could follow along.
"Blessed are the … oh, wait just one minute, it's here somewhere!" Jesus
says, flipping through the red dotted English pages. "Poor in Spirit!
That's it. Thank heaven I've got the KJV to back me up, because you know,
if it ain't KJV, it ain't Bible!"
Take a poll and you'll find that many people who believe the Bible to
be the inerrant Word of God have no idea what the thing even says. It's
doubtful that some have even read it - since there is that big old "begat"
speed bump pretty early on in the book. Some people believe that the Bible
says such things, "The Lord helps those who help themselves." Actually,
Ben Franklin said that and the scripture teaches a very different lesson
- that the helpless have a special place in God's heart.
For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ
died for the ungodly....But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in
that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:6,8)
Other popular phrases attributed to the Bible include Hamlet's "To thine
own self be true" and the family values favorite "spare the rod, spoil
the child." While the Bible does favor disciplining children, this particular
phrase is nowhere to be found, but you can't tell that to the literalists.
We can hardly be surprised that so many people hold so many erroneous
beliefs about the Bible. We hand people an ancient book, written in ancient
languages and interpreted over and over again, and expect them to simply
get it without giving them any history. Often, they are not even encouraged
to read it, instead relying on what the preacher says it says. More often
that not, the slogan "The Bible said it, I believe it" is truly "The pastor
said the Bible said it, I believe it."
When they do read it, they're not equipped to understand it. Instead
of learning about the history of the book and the differing contexts in
which each book was written, they're left on their own to read the English
version their church prefers and apply it literally through the filter
of their modern beliefs and prejudices. Of course they're going to think
the Bible condemns homosexuals, since the word is right there in black
and white in passages like 1 Corinthians 6:9. They're never told that
the biblical writers didn't have that word at their disposal since it
was only coined in 1869. They're never told that the translation is a
mixture of two obscure Greek words and represent a "best guess" by interpreters
as to what Paul truly meant. Instead, they substitute a modern word for
an ancient concept that may or may not be homosexuality as we understand
it today. These intricacies of interpretation are never explored by the
average Bible reader because it's right there in plain, unmistakable English
- God hates fags!
The Bible - Taking it Seriously, not Literally
I've often said that I take the Bible too seriously to take it literally.
I made this statement on an Internet message board and a conservative
Christian poster called the idea ridiculous - and I suppose it would be
to someone so accustomed to reading literally, but it's not. Anyone who
seeks to take the Bible seriously could never take it literally in its
English form. Such a method of reading does violence to the text. It's
easy to read our own prejudices and beliefs into the passages when we
read it in our preferred English translation. It's harder to do that when
we employ what the theologian call the "historical-critical" method. This
form of interpretation (or exegesis as the seminarians call it) puts the
text back in its historical context and extrapolates from there. The first
question you're trained to ask in this method is "what did this passage
mean to the original audience." In this way, we strip ourselves of the
tendency to approach the text through our modern knowledge and filters.
We force ourselves to think as ancient Hebrews or early Christians whenever
we read a passage. Putting the passage into its historical context can
be eye opening. We need to know what the passage meant to the original
audience before we can even begin to understand what eternal truth it
might convey to us today.
This method is mainly practiced in those highfalutin seminaries and
generally looked down upon by the average man (and it usually is a man)
in the pulpit at your average church every Sunday since it would deprive
him of a literal reading of the English text where modernist boogymen
can be found and vilified. Forcing yourself to understand the historical
context of a passage robs literalist preachers of their biggest weapon
- the ability to instill fear in their congregation by projecting their
modern prejudices into the text with their literal readings.
The beauty of the historical-critical method, in my opinion, is that
it sweeps away those modern prejudices and modern knowledge that we take
for granted when we read the Bible. If we truly are to put our selves
in the shoes of the ancient Hebrews or the early Christians reading early
writings that later became scripture, we have to put aside our knowledge
of things like biology, how women become pregnant, how the weather works,
the knowledge of a round earth revolving around the sun and much, much
more. We have to put aside our knowledge of sexuality and how fluid sexual
orientation can be. Only when we step outside of our own narrow prejudices
and modern knowledge can we begin to understand the context of the writings.
Reading this way reveals more questions than answers. We must do our homework
and find out about ancient cultures and their beliefs. We must dig to
find answers, and discover how little we truly know about these ancient
ancestors. Just trying to put a passage into context often brings more
questions than answers and makes the task of bringing the truth of the
passage into our modern times just that much more difficult. To read the
Bible this way makes us learn to love the questions - to be comfortable
in our uncertainty and to be leery of anything or anyone that claims to
have settled all the questions once and for all.
Those who use the Bible as a weapon against modernity resist such interpretation
strategies, preferring instead to read modern ideas and knowledge into
the English text as a way to back up their long-held beliefs and prejudices
and give them that satisfaction of certainty. Such a reading violates
the integrity of the text and again, leaves faith behind as certainty
takes its place. Those who take the Bible seriously then, cannot read
it literally. How a person chooses to read scripture, in the end, reveals
more about the person reading the scripture than it does about the truth
of the scripture.
The Bible - A Short History
Another good inoculation against reading the Bible literally - and a
great way to begin to take it seriously - is to explore the history of
the Bible and how it came to be on our coffee tables.
It's embarrassing to admit, but when I was actually shocked when I learned
that the Bible was not originally written in Olde English. It's more embarrassing
to admit how old I was when that knowledge came to me. What came next
was anger. Why hadn't my Southern Baptist church informed me of this fact?
Why didn't Sunday School teachers let me in on this knowledge? Why weren't
there classes on the history of the Bible in my church? Why weren't there
church leaders teaching us how to interpret scripture? Why weren't we
even informed about our own faith tradition?
The answer to that question came to me in the form of my mother, who,
upon my announcement that I was going to attend seminary, said, verbatim,
"Why do you want to go and mess yourself up like that?"
It was then I understood that, in her mind, and in the minds of many
other conservative Christians, asking questions about your faith only
invites trouble. "You'll shipwreck your faith," my mother warned me. Asking
too many questions leads to too many unanswered ones, and unanswered questions
lead to uncertainty and uncertainty leads straight to the fiery pit of
hell where all the unbelieving heathens who asked too many questions always
go. You're better off just believing what you've been told and keep your
questions to yourself.
I disregarded her warning as so much blind faith hogwash. "What was
wrong with questions?" I thought. Isn't that how we find answers in the
first place? I went in to seminary with eyes wide shut - not anticipating
the broadside that would be Christian history. In my second semester,
I could see the rocks looming ahead of my ship of faith.
"Oh dear," I thought, "my mother was right. I'm about to shipwreck my
faith!"
Learning about how we got all the doctrines, like the Trinity and virgin
birth, etc., nearly did my faith in. I was incredulous that anyone would
believe what the church Fathers had come up with. Blood was shed over
doctrines we blithely give our allegiance to today. Lives were lost, torn
apart - people persecuted and hounded from the faith, all for believing
something different than the anointed authorities. The entire faith seemed
ridiculous. I had more questions than answers and I hated it. I can certainly
understand why some people abandon their faith in the middle of seminary.
I almost did!
It was that experience though - that near faith-killing shipwreck -
that eventually made my faith stronger than before. I found that after
all my neat answers about faith, Christian history and the Bible had been
demolished, I had to reconstruct them or abandon my faith all together.
My faith was stronger than my doubt and eventually, after much prayer,
study and more prayer, I was able to rebuild my faith and learn to love
the questions.
Exposing our questions about the Bible to the harsh light of history
can be disturbing, even faith quashing, but it's important that we take
the risk, that we put our faith to the test and come out the other side
with a stronger, more resilient faith than before.
If finding out late in life about the original languages of the Bible
was embarrassing, imagine my embarrassment in seminary when I learned
that for the first 300 years or so of its life, the early church had no
such thing as a Bible. Many believers think that when early Christians
referred to "scriptures" they were referring to the Bibles we hold today.
Nothing could be further from the truth. The first gospel, Mark, was written
some 40 years after Christ's crucifixion (around 70 CE). Matthew and Luke
didn't come on the scene until about 20 years later (around 90 CE). The
latest gospel, John was written about ten years later (around 100 CE),
some 70 years after the crucifixion! It's almost certain that none of
the apostles for which the books are named actually wrote any of them.
It's true that early Christian churches used these gospels and the letters
of Paul (the earliest Pauline text was 1 Thessalonians written around
50 CE, some 20 years before Mark) in their worship services. It was through
the use of these books that they became "scripture." The first list of
the 27 books that became the New Testament we consider canonical today
appeared in 367 CE. It would be many centuries later before a general
consensus was reached among Christian leaders as to what texts would truly
make up the Bible. There were many other texts that early churches used
that didn't make the canonical cut including Gnostic gospels like Thomas
and other writings such as The Acts of Paul and Thecla which told the
story of a woman apostle.
For those who base their entire belief system on the Bible, these facts
can and should be disconcerting. For some 300 years Christians did just
fine, and discerned God's will fairly effectively, without a leather-bound
book to consult. Instead of consulting a book, or being tempted to reduce
that book to an idol and worship it as a literal communication from God,
they trusted in the spirit to guide them. They trusted in community to
point them toward God. More importantly, they trusted in their own experiences
of God, through Christ and the Holy Spirit, to guide them in their lives.
They didn't need a literal Bible written by infallible people to connect
them to God.
For those who wish to return to the roots of the early church, the first
task is to understand that the only "scripture" our fore fathers and mothers
had were the Hebrew Scriptures. Our coffee table idol didn't exist. Their
main tools for reaching God were such old fashioned ideas as prayer, discernment,
community and experience. This is where early Christians derived their
connection to God and experience of the people were honored and given
authority. What we forget is that the Bible is not a handbook for how
we need to live each moment. Instead it is a book of stories, a book filled
with how other people have experienced God. The Bible writers were not
writing a book of rules for eternity, but were simply telling us about
how they experienced the living God.
"More than anything else then," wrote Paul Alan Laughlin in his book
Remedial Christianity, "it puts the reader in touch with her or his own
spirituality on the experiential level; and this, one might say, is the
fundamental dynamic and true value of the Christian - or any - faith.
Had the Bible been single-minded, definitive and utterly consistent, it
might have stifled spiritual search and growth. As it is, however, it
calls and challenges the reader to forge a living, growing, active and
uniquely personal faith. At the same time, it comforts the reverent seeker
with the examples of biblical authors, whose words fashioned not a flawless
vessel to contain God, but a window that provides salutary glimpses of
divinity, despite its surface imperfections."
In short, the scriptures are not there to give us ready and pat answers
to all our questions. It's there to encourage us to ask questions, hard
questions - to seek, to search, to learn how to know God in through own
unique experiences. The common truths of the experiences are eternal,
even if the particulars of the experiences are different from person to
person.
The Bible - Its Authority
The heart of the battle between fundamentalist Christians and their
liberal counterparts is the question of the authority of the Bible. For
our more conservative brothers and sisters, the answer is clear, the Bible
has final authority. Whatever contradicts the scripture is anathema to
any "true" Christian. For liberals, the Bible is among the authorities
Christians must consult when facing tough decisions. Other things can
come into play - experience, reason and yes, even tradition. Fundamentalists
may take these other things into account, but when it comes down to brass
tacks, the Bible trumps them all. For liberals, however, such things as
reason and experience can trump both Bible and tradition.
This differing take on authority between the two more extreme camps
of Christianity is best illustrated in the case of the acceptance of gay,
lesbian, bisexual and transgender people not just in society, but especially
within the church. We are warned that if we accept GLBT people the whole
truth of the Bible is negated. What that argument misses, however, is
that we as Christians have disregarded many things the Bible speaks approvingly
of including polygamy, subjugation of women, division of the races, and
slavery - and we've done it without compromising the ultimate authority
of the Bible. We read approval of these things in the Bible as cultural
mores we no longer hold. Even the most stringent literalist will not take
the admonition to kill those involved in adultery as a rule we should
enforce today. That same literalist may also be divorced for some other
reason than Jesus' admonition that divorce was only permissible if the
wife was unfaithful. So, even the most stringent literalist among us would
have to admit that the literal Word of God has room for mercy for adulterers
and faces no condemnation for divorcing his wife for some reason other
than infidelity - a violation of Jesus' direct command.
So, the issue of authority becomes rather sticky for those who wish
to use the Bible strictly against the GLBT community. To do so they have
to disregard the many things that we've already decided that the Bible
is wrong about. Moving forward with the acceptance of the GLBT community
does no violence to the integrity of the Bible. Denying rights to an entire
class of people based on a certain interpretation of scripture does, however,
as those of different races and different genders can certainly attest
to. Far from damaging the authority of the Bible, acceptance of GLBT people
in society and in the church would actually strengthen the integrity and
authority of the text because it would prove that God is still alive,
still speaking, still able to do a new thing through the Holy Spirit moving
in and through God's willing, seeking and questioning servants.
It is the scriptures themselves that reveal God telling us, "Behold,
I do a new thing! Do you not perceive it?" (Isaiah 43:19) Those who cannot
perceive God doing new, startling and wonderful things are those who cling
to the letter of the law of the Bible while quashing the spirit of the
words. If God is still alive and still speaking then God will speak new
things to us - things not recorded in books, ancient or otherwise. Some
of the new things that God has spoken to us since the scriptures were
penned include:
- Monogamous relationships
- The ability to eat pork and shrimp
- The ability to lend money at interest
- Freedom for slaves
- Freedom for women
- Freedom for GLBT people
Jesus even showed us that we must be open to God relating to us in new
and unfamiliar - yes, even uncomfortable - ways. He spent his entire ministry
showing us that God does not want us to follow old, soul-killing laws,
but instead, Jesus showed us new ways to reinterpret the scriptures.
In Matthew 5, Jesus repeatedly said, "You have heard it said … but I
say to you …" What we have heard is what the scriptures (the Hebrew scriptures,
remember) have to say about such things as murder, adultery, divorce,
breaking oaths, exacting revenge and how to treat our enemies. All these
things are scripturally sound, but Jesus reinterprets the scripture -
turning them around, negating the old in favor of the new.
Those who follow Jesus' example, reinterpreting scripture to include
Good News for GLBT people get accused of twisting scripture - and the
Pharisees too, accused Jesus of the same thing. They were convinced of
the authority of their interpretation of the scripture and could not tolerate
some itinerate preacher telling the people that God could say something
new. The literalist Pharisees of our day are the same way - accusing those
who speak a new word in the Spirit of twisting scripture for their own
ends. They deny that God could say anything new, they could not perceive
it.
If God cannot say new things, then God is as dead the trees on which
the words of the Bible are written. Even the scriptures testify against
such a thing. God is always doing a new thing - the eternal question then
becomes, do we perceive it?
The Bible - Why I Love it
The Bible writers understood the power of a good story. It is through
story that we make meaning in our lives. When you meet people, what do
you ask them for? You ask for a story - "tell me about yourself." It is
through their stories and our own stories that we make sense of the world.
We live in an ongoing narrative that gives us power, a sense of belonging
and a meaning for why we are here.
The Bible is nothing but a powerful book of stories - stories of how
our ancient ancestors thought, believed and encountered God in their lives.
I don't need the story of Adam and Eve to be literal. I don't need Adam
and Eve to be true historical figures to understand the truth of their
story. The story reveals the nature of human beings to soil their own
nests - to act in their own self interest, without regard to the interconnectedness
of us all. Why does it matter if Eden truly existed or had two inhabitants
known as Adam and Eve? The truth of their story - the story of human nature
- is what is important, not their existence.
I don't need a literal Noah and his ark or a worldwide flood to understand
the idea behind repentance and redemption that the story conveys. The
story has many similarities with the older story of Gilgamesh, which,
again is a story that I don't need to be literally true to learn the underlying
lesson.
Here is where my heresy grows life-size, however: I don't need a literal,
historical Jesus to understand the universal truth and power of the message
he conveyed. That's not say that I don't believe in a literal, historical
Jesus. I certainly do. The point is I don't need him to be a living, breathing
person - I need the message he came to tell us. I need his story. I need
the essence of his life, whether it's a real one or complete fiction.
His story is his power, not his earthly life. His message is his meaning
- not whether he was both divine and human. His message - that we are
to love God and treat one another just as we wish to be treated - is paramount.
His message - that we are all interconnected, weaved together by a God
that loves us and only wants the best for us - is what is important. His
message - that we give of ourselves, that we live abundantly and love
wastefully - is the only thing that matters - not the man or the divinity
or any dogma or doctrine created about him. The truth of his message is
what matters.
That is why I love the Bible. It is filled with stories that convey
so much truth. The reason the Bible has been around as long as it has
is because of that eternal truth contained in the vehicle of story. We
so often confuse the message with the messenger, preferring to worship
Jesus, believing doctrinal things about him, instead of actually putting
his message in our hearts and living it. I agree with Alan Jones who says
"I am not a believing Christian but a practicing one." It's not about
what you believe about the Bible or Jesus or God or Christianity or anything
else about religion, it's about what those beliefs translate into in your
life. Do your beliefs make you rigid, selfish, greedy, mean or thoughtless?
Do your beliefs make you exclusionary, politically ruthless and suspicious
of other people of faith? Or, do your beliefs make you more open, compassionate,
gentle and caring? Do your beliefs make your look outside of your own
self-interest, your own concerns and draw you into the lives of those
around you?
To be a practicing Christian means to be able to live in the questions
- to love them - to nurture them and take joy in finding even more. It
is in the questions that I hear God speaking. It is in the questions that
I feel God's presence. It is in the questions that I learn to continually
lean on God for any understanding that I can gain and to let the unanswerable
questions rest in God's infinite wisdom. Loving the questions is a place
of rest, as much as it is a place of unending searching. The place of
unknowing, of letting go of the need to have to know, is ultimately a
place of peace, because you know that your life rests in, through and
with God, and in that place, even the questions are beautiful and refreshing
- even healing.
Candace
Chellew-Hodge is a recovering Southern Baptist and founder/editor
of Whosoever: An Online Magazine for
GLBT Christians. She is an ordained minister and holds a master's
in theological studies from the Candler School of Theology at Emory University
in Atlanta, Ga. She currently serves as assistant pastor at MCC
Columbia. She is also a spiritual director, trained through the Episcopal
Diocese of Atlanta. She has worked for the past two decades in journalism
and public relations. She can be reached at editor@whosoever.org.
Copyright © by the author
All Rights Reserved
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