By: Ben Kemena
[posted October 25, 1998]
Many Americans have listened to the beating, torture, and murder of Matthew Shepard, a 21 year old University of Wyoming at Laramie college freshman, with horror. His death is a complex outcome of group criminal dynamics, gay-bashing, small town life, isolation, youth, and societal prejudice that has translated into an act of violence and hate. A court will reflect on the numerous details and issue a verdict. But in the wake of Matthew's death, thoughtful personal reviews are in order. Detachment or silence is no virtue here. Matthew's death reflects a societal tenor of condoned gay derision. Should we choose to care, some of us may have Matthew's blood on our hands. Should we choose to look, some of us will see our own reflection in his lifeless eyes.
In the past year, some Americans have lobbied to brand, punish, and condemn gay people as a matter of morality and righteousness, if not vanity. We should not be surprised when the rhetoric of dehumanization contributes to violence, brutality and death. As Americans, we continue to purport ourselves committed to a "more perfect union." Our society took positive steps to include women in 1920, people of color in 1964, and people with disabilities in 1990. But society has not yet included gay people among many others -- and still harbors residual derision towards women, people of color, and the disabled. The brutal hate crime against James Byrd, Jr. of Jasper, Texas in June is linked by similar societal prejudices to the Wyoming prairie -- both heinous and too common in these United States.
The past year has set the stage for a moral tone that allows violence against gays to continue. Trent Lott, US Senate Majority Leader, compared homosexuality to socially unacceptable behaviors. Pat Robertson, Christian television personality, warned the city of Orlando that God would punish the city for allowing gay pride recognition. Ross Perot rescinded domestic partnership benefits for gays in March at his Dallas company. James Dobson's Focus on the Family Christian organization newsletters this summer urged all Christians to take decisive action against gays. While all condemn the death of Matthew, they remain vainly tied to their "moral authority" and offer little hope for change.
The National Council of Catholic Bishops retracted their relatively concilliatory letter, "Always Our Children" -- a statement to gays, their parents and families -- as being too liberal. The Lambeth Conference of the Anglican (Episcopal) faith community formally condemned homosexuality as incompatible with the Bible. Colorado's own Episcopal bishop, Jerry Winterrowd, voted to condemn gays at Lambeth in August. In July, the United Methodist Church Judicial Council voted to include anti-gay policy as part of their Social Principles. And the Presbyterians, so troubled by discussion of gay inclusion, simply voted this summer not to talk about it. Though Christian myself, the message of many Christian religious institutions continues to dehumanize and condemn gay human beings and their chorus offers little hope for gay inclusion.
A national newspaper ad campaign linked to James Dobson and Gary Bauer's Family Research Council calls on all homosexuals to "change" their sexual orientation as a matter of moral concern -- national television ads have already been announced for the coming weeks. These irresponsible ads ignore many decades of research and fail to mention the formal professional positions of the American Psychological Association, American Psychiatric Association, American Medical Association, and American Bar Association. Undoubtedly, the hysteria created by these evangelical Christian groups is effective for political campaign fund-raising for their sponsored candidates. But what about the price of a human life? While denouncing Matthew's death, the Family Research Council still labels hate crime protection for gays as an unnecessary "special right." Will gay dehumanization ever stop?
To gay brothers and sisters in counsel, I urge you to consider the siren call of gay author, Paul Monette. First, live well and do not allow prudence and caution to drown your zest for life. Please take care of one another in a society that still dehumanizes gay people. Hate crimes against gays -- both in numbers and intensity -- is on the rise in America. And second, use your grief regarding all hate crimes to be a sword to fight institutionalized oppression and incivility. Matthew's death can never be reconciled, but may his memory include forgiveness and change as we labor towards a more inclusive society.
To straight brothers and sisters in counsel, I urge you to consider the lives of gay people as valued, legitimate, and struggling. There is much work to be done in creating gay-straight alliances of refuge, safety, and hope. It looks like anywhere is a good place to start -- but please consider starting in a church. And please consider leaving behind the "love the sinner, hate the sin" approach to gays -- it is just not helpful. Person to person, one is either pro-human or not, as we aspire towards a more humane society.
And to Dennis and Judy Shepard, Matthew's parents, I am so very sorry. Your son never deserved such a fate. Your example of love in the face of your unspeakable loss offers me hope. You have spoken eloquently to the fact that Matthew's life was not lived in vain. Sadly, his death was the outcome of unjustifiable and disturbed vanities. His memory will never reconcile his death, but will reflect a resolve to endeavor toward a gentler, kinder, and more loving world.
This editorial first appeared in the Denver Post on October 18, 1998
Here is an email address for anyone wishing to send Matthew and his family a message:
Here is the fund set up in his name:
Matthew Shepard Fund (#1926083)
c/o 1st National Bank
Box 578
Fort Collins, CO 80522