Aware that words can create suffering or happiness, we are committed to learning to speak truthfully and constructively, using only words that inspire hope and confidence.

Thich Nhat Hanh
Interbeing

Do you watch your words? What kind of things are you saying to people? Are you creating suffering or happiness with the words you choose?

The quote above is one of the 14 mindfulness trainings in Buddhism. It reminds us that what we say ... the language we use ... has enormous power in the lives of others. As GLBT people we should be deeply aware of the power of language. Words have been used against us constantly. I received a piece of "hate mail" the other day that proclaimed the joy of AIDS as God's plague against gay people. They were powerful words, meant to bring suffering.

When hurtful words are said against us, it is tempting to react to them in kind ... to spew our own hateful words at those who have wounded us. Hanh reminds us to be careful in our speech. Instead of responding with words equally as wounding, we should only choose words of response that inspire hope and confidence.

The Bible, too, cautions us on the value of gentle words when someone seeks to wound us with language. In 1 Peter 3:15 we're reminded that we must "always be prepared to account for the hope that is in you, yet do it with gentleness and reverence."

I don't usually respond to the hateful words that this letter writer sent to me recently, but I did this once. His words hurt, but not in the way he had intended for them to hurt. Instead of becoming angry at his words of hate and suffering, I hurt for him. Obviously, someone who can send such harmful words to another person has been deeply hurt themselves. They are suffering and expressing their own pain by lashing out. I sent a note of compassion back to this man, expressing my concern for his pain, and my willingness to help. The response was more vitriol. Not surprising, but still, my compassion for this person remains. I see someone who is deeply wounded .. and I refuse to inflict further wounds by returning words of hate for words of hate.

I urge us all to remember that. When attacks come your way, be mindful of the words you choose to respond. Also, be mindful that the hurtful words they utter at you come from a hurting soul. Let your compassion come forth in those times. Do not return hate for hate, but use words that inspire hope and confidence. Defend your hope, certainly, but do it with gentleness and reverence.

Blessings,
Candace