... you have to keep unmasking the world about you for what it is: manipulative, controlling, power-hungry and, in the long run, destructive. The world tells you many lies about who you are, and you simply have to be realistic enough to remind yourself of this. Every time you feel hurt, offended or rejected, you have to dare to say to yourself: "These feelings, strong as they may be, are not telling me the truth about myself. The truth, even though I cannot feel it right now, is that I am the chosen child of God, precious in God's eyes, called the Beloved from all eternity and held safe in an everlasting embrace."

Henri Nouwen
Life of the Beloved

I've been in an argument recently with someone who refuses to listen. Instead of hearing me, they continued to quote Bible passages they say condemns me. Instead of being interested in learning more about me and how I live my life, they continued to call me immoral simply because I am a lesbian. Instead of showing God's love for me through what could have been a genuine voice of concern, they spewed hatred and vitriol at me by deriding my faith and telling me, in no uncertain terms, that I cannot be a Christian without first renouncing my "immoral lifestyle."

These words hurt, and thanks to Henri Nouwen, I realize why: because they are not the truth. They do not speak of the truth about my life. I am a lesbian, but that does not make me immoral. The two words are not interchangeable.

We so often hear the hurtful words of the people who say we cannot be gay and Christian. They call us every name in the book, "immoral", "filthy", "disgusting", "perverted." Yet, we must always remind ourselves that even though those words hurt, and are meant to hurt when hurled at us by the world, they do not speak the truth to us. We know, in our hearts, that whatever they may be describing, it is surely not us.

Let us step back, then, and look at the motive behind those words. When those who call themselves Christian come at us wielding these words like a sword, ready to run us through, we must be prepared. We must know exactly how they use their weapon to be able to keep it from hurting us. We must also know why they are using this weapon against us. These people seek to control us and manipulate us. They are power hungry! Their version of God, their version of "truth" must win out at all costs. Therefore, in the end, they ultimately seek our destruction!

There are several forms of destruction that could occur. First, they could convince us that to be loved by God we must renounce our sexuality. By making us "ex-gay" they have destroyed that uniqueness, that belovedness, that God has bestowed on us. They have changed us from our truth to theirs. We have been destroyed!

Second, and this happens in most cases, they will destroy our faith in God. They will make us kill your own spirit so we don't have to worry about their condemnation, since we don't believe in God and all that Christian garbage. This is what happens to most GLBT people raised in the Christian tradition. They get nothing but condemnation from the church, until they give up the church and their faith all together. We have been destroyed!

These attackers are not concerned with our spiritual growth or health. They are only concerned with power -- that their view ultimately wins in the end. If that means destroying us, then so be it ... in their minds, it was God's will anyway.

We can only defend ourselves by returning to our spiritual center. We are told to test the spirits that come to us ... and that the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. [Galatians 5:22-23] When we are faced with those who won't listen, and those who continue to insult us in God's name, we know the spirit this person brings is not from God. From them we feel no love, joy, peace or other fruits of the Spirit that lets us know we are in the presence of God.

Remember Nouwen's advice and continually tell yourself the truth about yourself: "that I am the chosen child of God, precious in God's eyes, called the Beloved from all eternity and held safe in an everlasting embrace."

Blessings,
Candace