...do not be anxious how you are to speak or what you are to say; for what you are to say will be given to you in that hour; for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of God speaking through you.

Matthew 10:19-20

I am extremely nervous. I have my first two speaking engagements coming up within the next two weeks.

This Sunday, I agreed to lead a Sunday School class. Next Sunday, I'll be preaching my first sermon. I have no idea what to say during either. I am in a panic.

I like to be prepared. I do not like to speak extemporaneously. I want it all written down and in front of me. It's the writer in me. I like it all there on the page, for easy reference. Actually, I prefer to pass out my writing and not have to speak a word!

However, I realized long ago, that once Whosoever started to get some attention, I'd be asked to do some speaking about it. Alas, the time has come.

In my distress, I opened the Bible and found the words of Jesus. I am not to worry. It's not my words I will speak, anyway, but God's words. I will say what the Spirit directs, so that my listeners will be blessed by the words. I'm not speaking for me or even for the magazine, but for the glory of God.

I still want it all written out, but that's the impetuous child of God in me. It's a trust issue I'm still working on.

I've known pastors who have ditched fully prepared sermons at the last moment to speak on what the Spirit has led them to say. I take some manner of comfort in that.

I know if I remain open to the guiding of the Spirit, I will say what needs to be said. But it's a struggle. My impatient nature makes it almost impossible.

I have no answers to offer in today's devotional, only my own panic and uncertainty. I ask each of you to keep me in your thoughts and prayers as these events approach. I only seek to do God's work, not my own.

Blessings,
Candace