Seven Things I Wish Pro-Gay People Would Admit By: Bob Davies	Seven Holes in Seven Things I Wish Pro-Gay People Would Admit By: Bob Fredricks
1. I wish they would admit that many people are not happy with their homosexuality or lesbianism, and that this conflict is internal, based on legitimate, intelligent religious and moral convictions--not just the result of a so-called "homophobic" society which is forcing guilt upon people who don't conform to a heterosexual ethic. Stop throwing out the cheap, inaccurate labels like "internalized homophobia" to explain our motivations.	Hole #1. Heterosexality is an ethic? Heterosexuals choose their orientation based on what is ethical? I think NOT!
2. I wish they would acknowledge that homosexuals and lesbians can experience significant change in their sexual feelings and desires, even though they may never be totally heterosexual in their sexual thoughts and feelings. Be honest enough to admit that such change is significant and genuine, even if it isn't complete.	Hole #2. If gays and "lesbians can experience sexual changes even though they may never be totally heterosexual." They can never be heterosexuals. If the change isn't complete, it hasn't occurred.
3. I wish they would acknowledge that many former homosexuals and lesbians have found a greater measure of peace and satisfaction after leaving a gay or lesbian lifestyle than they ever experienced while embracing homosexuality. Not all "ex-gays" are miserable, plotting how to secretly fulfill their homosexual lusts without being caught.	Hole #3. Leaving the so-called "lifestyle" doesn't change what you are. And, just what is the "lifestyle?" I don't know two gay people who are alike in their lifestyle.
4. I wish they would acknowledge that many former homosexuals and lesbians have genuine joy in their marriages. Most former gays and lesbians don't get married in a futile attempt to "escape" homosexuality; they marry as a natural consequence of resolving that issue in their lives.	Hole #4. "Genuine joy in their marriages" comes from companionship not sex. Gays who live together for 40 years are not just roomates. (I know of just such a couple in Hawaii, and I've lived with the same man for 22 years.)
5. I wish they would acknowledge that all people have as much right to pursue a heterosexual lifestyle as they do to pursue homosexuality. Former homosexuals and lesbians should not be harassed and castigated by the gay community. But I have never heard any gay or lesbian leaders speak out against the violence (such as bomb threats and physical/verbal abuse) which some people perpetuate against Exodus ministries.	Hole #5. I wish heterosexuals would acknowledge that homosexuals have as much right to pursue their relationships as heterosexuals do, but some heterosexuals won't acknowledge this as acceptable. We, as gay people, know very well about threats from the receiving end, but heterosexuals seem to be more successful at it as exemplified by Oklahoma City.
6. I wish they would stop equating our decision to leave homosexuality with "hatred" and "bigotry" against gays and lesbians. We don't hate gays; we simply desire to live free of homosexuality. Don't put nasty labels upon our motives. That's being judgmental and unfair.	Hole #6. "We don't hate gays; we simply desire to live free of homosexuality." Interesting, some Southern whites simply want to live free of blackness, and you'd call that bigotry, wouldn't you?
7. I wish pro-gay religious leaders would admit that their endorsement and promotion of monogamous homosexual relationships is a facade. Many--probably most--men and women involved in long-term partnerships are not sexually monogamous, but gay churches don't discipline members for committing "adultery" outside their "gay marriage." Neither do they discipline gays or lesbians who have sex before entering into a "holy union" with their partner.	Hole #7. Pro-gay religious leader don't have to admit anything about their endorsement of gay marriage. Any civil or religious recognition of gay marriage will always encourage monogamous relationships. Without gay marriage there are no restraints. To oppose gay marriage is to encourage promiscuity. I didn't think Christians morally should encourage promiscuity in any form or group.